I know a pretty young blonde
Of whom I’m extremely fond.
My wife Yvette
Works as a vet
And she doesn’t like that blonde …!
—
I know a pretty young blonde
Of whom I’m rather fond.
When she met
My wife Yvette
It ended in the pond!
There was a young man called Moat
Who knowing not which way to vote
Asked his girlfriend Lou
Whether to vote red or blue
While riding on a goat!
—
There was a young man called Moat
Who knowing not which way to vote
Went out on the town
His sorrows to drown
Then voted for a goat!
—
There was a young man called Moat
Who knowing not which way to vote
Went out on the town
His sorrows to drown
And quite forgot to vote!
There was a young man called Morris
Who laid claim to The Odes of Horace.
When the case came to court
The judge said, “I thought
That The Odes they where written by Borris!”.
There was a young lady called May
Who invited me to the ballet.
But being a man of discretion
I shall make no confession
Unless the tabloids they offer to pay …
—
There was a young lady called May
Who introduced me to her housemate Fay.
Back at their flat
I took off my hat
But they didn’t ask me to stay!
There was a young man called Mo
Who stood upon my toe.
I gave him a glare
And said “you aint being fair!”,
So he trod on my other toe!
—
There was a young man called Mo
Who trod upon my toe.
So I gave him a glare
And said “you aint being fair!”,
And I told him where to go!
When a young man called Kirt
Borrowed his girlfriend’s skirt.
His brother Guy
Said, with a sigh,
“You look better in tie and shirt!”.
—
When a young man called Kirt
Borrowed his girlfriend’s skirt.
His partner Lou
Said “don’t wear my shoe,
As those stilettos they really hurt!”.
There was a young lady called Meg
Who laid a very large egg.
When the journalists came round
They found nothing profound
As Meg was pulling their leg …!
There was a young lady called Hocking
Who’s morals were truly shocking.
When she dated a man named Ed
And my brother called Fred,
Their wives they came aknocking!
“I don’t repeat gossip … so listen carefully”.
Yesterday (Sunday 23 September), I ran into an acquaintance in a local pub, and he invited me to join him at his table. I accepted gladly and enjoyed catching up as we haden’t come across one another for a while.
During the course of our chat, my acquaintance came out with the above quotation, which greatly amused me and I fell to pondering on its origin.
The quote can be found on metal plaques and mugs, but one of the few places where it’s origins are discussed is here, https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=733071. However this post gives no conclusive evidence as to the quotations origin. If any of my readers know where the above eminates from, I would be very interested to hear from you.
Kevin
I know a young lady called May
Who told me a limerick risqué.
I experienced delight
Throughout the night
But she won’t repeat it today
