Tag Archives: humour

“I don’t repeat gossip … so listen carefully”

“I don’t repeat gossip … so listen carefully”.

Yesterday (Sunday 23 September), I ran into an acquaintance in a local pub, and he invited me to join him at his table. I accepted gladly and enjoyed catching up as we haden’t come across one another for a while.

During the course of our chat, my acquaintance came out with the above quotation, which greatly amused me and I fell to pondering on its origin.

The quote can be found on metal plaques and mugs, but one of the few places where it’s origins are discussed is here, https://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=733071. However this post gives no conclusive evidence as to the quotations origin. If any of my readers know where the above eminates from, I would be very interested to hear from you.

Kevin

There Was A Young Lady Called Lorraine

There was a young lady called Lorraine
Who’s character lacked any stain.
An old rake named Paul
Said “most girls fall,
But I can not conquer Lorraine!”.

There was a young lady called Lorraine
Who’s character lacked any stain.
While on her wedding bed
She most properly said
“My virtue I shall retain!”.

Hocking

A young lady by the name of Hocking
Was always my poetry mocking.
When she passed away
I’m sorry to say
That her end was truly shocking …

There was a young lady called Hocking
Who lost a fine silk stocking.
A vicar named Hogg
Owned a large black dog
Which ate that fine silk stocking …

Kim

I know a young lady called Kim
Who asked that I the lights dim.
So I turned them down low
And turned round real slow,,
But Kim had run away with Jim!

I met a young lady called Kim
Who asked that I the lights dim.
So I turned them down low
And turned round real slow.
And Kim was petite and slim …

Heather and Rose

I know a young lady called Heather

Who likes to dress in leather.

Her good friend Rose

Does poetry compose

About girls who dress in leather …

 

There was a young lady called Heather

Who wore one single feather.

My good friend Rose

Goes without clothes

In every kind of weather …

 

 

There Was A Young Lady Called Anna

There was a young lady called Anna
Who lived in a haunted manor.
A ghost named White
Sang at night
In a most delightful manner …!

There was a young lady called Anna
Who lived in a haunted manor.
A ghost named Ria
Filled her with fear
So she left that haunted manor!