There was a young lady called Lou
Who starred in movies most blue.
A priest named Hocking
Found them most shocking.
As for me, I watched them too …!
—
A naughty young lady called Lou
Stars in movies most blue.
My old friend Mark
Says he walks in the park
But I think he watches them too.
When I met a young lady called Spink
Who was dressed all in pink,
My dear friend Lou
Said “how-do-you-do”
And gave me a knowing wink!
When a morbid young man called Guy
Said “I am going to die!”,
His good friend Baker,
Who worked as an undertaker
Made reply,
“I can offer you a discount, Guy!”.
When a careless young man called Howe
Fell from a very high bough
A farmer, named Guy
Said, with a cry
“You have fallen on my prize cow!”.
(The name “Howe” is pronounced “How).
There was a young lady called Samantha
Who met in spring with a panther.
Come the summertime
I wrote a rhyme
About a girl who’s name was Samantha …
There was a young man called Grubb
Who wrote verse in his local pub.
The publican, named Monk
Said, “you’re drunk,
But your verse it is really quite good!”.
An elderly billionaire called Paul
Lived in a very grand hall.
His young wife Claire
Left her shoes on the stair
And inherited that very grand hall …
There was a young heiress called Kate
Who lived on a country estate.
Her father, Lord Moore
Was so fond of the poor
That he left them his estate!
I knew a pretty brunette
Who went by the name of Yvette.
My good friend Jim
Married a blonde named Kim,
Who used to be Yvette!
There was a young lady called Holly
Who lived in an ancient folly.
One day at dawn
She looked forlorn
So I joined her in her folly …
