When a single young lady called Moore
Went shopping in a store
She met a man named Dan
With a marriage plan.
They married in the church next door …
—
When a young Martian came down from Mars
In search of knickers and bras
She bought stockings too
And a high-heel shoe
Then she flew with her bags back to Mars …
I know a young man called Nile
Who owns a pet crocodile.
He married a girl named Grace,
With a very pretty face
Which made that crocodile smile …
When a young man of Bristol
Wounded me with his pistol
It was over a girl
(Her name was Pearl)
Or maybe it was Crystal …
A man by the name of Cook
Published a very long book.
It was entitled “The Tank”
But, all it’s pages being blank
I couldn’t judge that book …
There once was a lady called Rose
Who always wore lots of clothes.
In the hot summer weather
She dressed all in leather
And a rose it grew in her nose.
When a young lady of Bath
(who is always up for a laugh)
Comes round to mine
We drink fine wine
While soaking in the bath …
There was a young man called Good
Who went for a walk in the wood
Where he met a girl named Louise
Who offered to please,
As she was far from good …
—
There was a young man called Good
Who fell asleep in the wood
Where a nymph named calypso
Pinched his big toe
In the depths of that deep dark wood
I know a young lady called Mel
Who nothing but lies does tell.
She says that when she came round to mine
That it wasn’t to dine,
But its only the truth I tell …
In September, I was honoured to appear on Chris the Story Reading Ape’s blog to talk about my love of nonsense verse, https://thestoryreadingapeblog.com/2018/09/29/nonsense-verse-guest-post-by-kevin-morris/.
For some time now I have been mulling over the idea of producing a selection of my own limericks, humorous and satirical verse, (you can find links to several of such poems below). I have now decided to go-ahead with compiling such a collection and will post updates here.
—
Miss White – https://newauthoronline.com/2018/07/28/there-was-a-young-lady-called-white/
Holly – https://newauthoronline.com/2017/12/31/there-was-a-young-lady-named-holly-2/
Everyone Has their Thing – https://newauthoronline.com/2018/05/22/everyone-has-there-thing/
Lou – https://newauthoronline.com/2018/10/17/there-was-a-young-lady-called-lou-14/
There Was a Young Man Called Kirt – https://newauthoronline.com/2018/06/22/there-was-a-young-man-called-kirt/
I know a young Socialist called Claire
Who thinks inequality most unfair.
Her butler Bill
Is with her still
Which shows she really does care …
—
I met a young lady called Lou
Who swore she would be true.
But when a girl called Hocking
Lost her fine silk stocking
Lou she swore we’re through
