I know a young lady named Spink
Who’s skirt is short and pink.
When we met in a club
Called the Back Rub
She gave me a knowing wink …
I know a young lady named Spink
Who’s skirt is short and pink.
When we met in a club
Called the Back Rub
She gave me a knowing wink …
A naughty young lady called Leigh
Tied me up at 3.
When the clock struck 4
I called out for more
But it was time for tea …
When a single young lady called Moore
Went shopping in a store
She met a man named Dan
With a marriage plan.
They married in the church next door …
—
When a young Martian came down from Mars
In search of knickers and bras
She bought stockings too
And a high-heel shoe
Then she flew with her bags back to Mars …
I know a young man called Nile
Who owns a pet crocodile.
He married a girl named Grace,
With a very pretty face
Which made that crocodile smile …
When a young man of Bristol
Wounded me with his pistol
It was over a girl
(Her name was Pearl)
Or maybe it was Crystal …
A man by the name of Cook
Published a very long book.
It was entitled “The Tank”
But, all it’s pages being blank
I couldn’t judge that book …
There once was a lady called Rose
Who always wore lots of clothes.
In the hot summer weather
She dressed all in leather
And a rose it grew in her nose.
When a young lady of Bath
(who is always up for a laugh)
Comes round to mine
We drink fine wine
While soaking in the bath …
There was a young man called Good
Who went for a walk in the wood
Where he met a girl named Louise
Who offered to please,
As she was far from good …
—
There was a young man called Good
Who fell asleep in the wood
Where a nymph named calypso
Pinched his big toe
In the depths of that deep dark wood
I know a young lady called Mel
Who nothing but lies does tell.
She says that when she came round to mine
That it wasn’t to dine,
But its only the truth I tell …