When a young man whose name is Bert
Said, “I demand that you iron my shirt”,
A young maiden called Nelly
Covered him in much Jelly,
But she’s always been known as a flirt!
—
When a young man whose name is Bert
Said, “I demand that you iron my shirt”,
A young maiden called Nelly
Covered him in much jelly,
And bert, he bought a brand new shirt!
When a young man whose name is Hurd
Said, “poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the word”,
A girl called Nelly
Replied, “so said Shelley,
But the last word, you’ve got that wrong Hurd!”.
(the correct quotation is, of course “poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world”).
When a young lady whose name is White
Said, “would you like to fight tonight?”
And I replied, “I don’t fight young women
But I’m into all kinds of hot sinning,
She said, “you are out of luck tonight!”.
A young lady whose name is Claire
Claims that we are having an affair,
But that’s simply not true,
And her missing black shoe,,
I don’t know how it got there!
A young lady whose name is Claire
Is engaged in a most sordid affair,
Whilst a married man called Ted
Climbs into a large double bed,
But that’s nothing to do with Claire!
When a young lady whose name is Claire
Said, “my friend you should take very great care,
As there are lots of beautiful young women
Who are into nothing but decadence and sinning”,
I replied, “where can I find them, Claire?”
My dear friend, whose name is Miss Kind
Said, “those silk ropes, they tightly do bind,
But its totally consensual
And really quite commonsensical,
As you help me, my friend, to unwind . . .
A young man named Gus
Created a most terrible fuss
When his girlfriend Pearl
Gave me a twirl,
On the number 7 bus!
My friend whose name is Moria
Has married the local squire.
He sleeps all day
And the people say,
That the squire’s a vampire!
—
A young lady whose name is Moria
Said, “of your poetry I shall never tire.
But oh my sweet honey,
As you have no money,
I shall have to marry the local squire!”.
When a young man named Jame
Said, “I always get the blame!”,
And I replied, “but it was you!”,
He said, “that may well be true,
But I always get the blame!”.
K Morris - Poet 