There once was a virile young man
Who, on seeing a passing pram,
Doffed his hat
To the mother,
And said, “I once had a lover,
Who looked a lot like that . . .!”.
There Once Was A Virile Young Man
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Tag Archives: humour
When A Young Man Named Coker
When a young man named Coker
Said, “your poetry ’tis mediocre”,
I gazed into the fire
And replied, “do you admire
“This poker, my late friend coker?”
A Young Lady Who Comes From Kent
A young lady who comes from Kent
Has all her money spent
On expensive gifts for me,
Which is strange, you see,
I’m married to a girl from Ghent!
A Young Man Named Matt
A young man named Matt
Owns a very strange hat.
It mews and it purrs,
And its covered in furs,
And he calls that hat a cat!
On Going To Bed Last Night
On going to bed last night
I met a young woman in white.
When I said “are you a ghost?”
She offered me hot buttered toast,
And the stars they winked last night!
When A Young Man Whose Name is Bert
When a young man whose name is Bert
Said, “I demand that you iron my shirt”,
A young maiden called Nelly
Covered him in much Jelly,
But she’s always been known as a flirt!
—
When a young man whose name is Bert
Said, “I demand that you iron my shirt”,
A young maiden called Nelly
Covered him in much jelly,
And bert, he bought a brand new shirt!
When A Young Man Whose Name is Hurd
When a young man whose name is Hurd
Said, “poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the word”,
A girl called Nelly
Replied, “so said Shelley,
But the last word, you’ve got that wrong Hurd!”.
(the correct quotation is, of course “poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world”).
When A Young Lady Whose Name Is White
When a young lady whose name is White
Said, “would you like to fight tonight?”
And I replied, “I don’t fight young women
But I’m into all kinds of hot sinning,
She said, “you are out of luck tonight!”.
A Young Lady Whose Name Is Claire
A young lady whose name is Claire
Claims that we are having an affair,
But that’s simply not true,
And her missing black shoe,,
I don’t know how it got there!
A Young Lady Whose Name Is Claire
A young lady whose name is Claire
Is engaged in a most sordid affair,
Whilst a married man called Ted
Climbs into a large double bed,
But that’s nothing to do with Claire!
K Morris - Poet 