As I sat drinking
I fell to thinking
On how some lack inhibition
Which leads to perdition.
Too many a glass
Has led lad and lass
Astray. Yet the hay
Is sweet in summertime
And I have heard say
That there is more to life than rhyme.
I know a young lady named Dawn
Who owns a pet unicorn.
When we met last night
By the star’s bright light
We danced with that pet unicorn.
—
I know a young lady named Dawn
Who owns a pet unicorn.
While round at mine
We got drunk on wine
And I saw her pet unicorn!
—
While searching for my unicorn
I met a policewoman named Dawn.
When she said, “you are out late”.
I asked her out on a date
And so our love was born!
Do young women show interest in old men?
No, it is not usually so
Though when
Such men
Have money
Its queer
How a certain kind of honey
Will make herself
Most agreeable to the beer
Belly and receeding hair.
But how dare
You whisper “’tis his wealth that attracts her …”!
I know a young lady named Joan
Who is perfect in skin and bone.
Being deeply in love with me
We never disagree
And she lives on my smartphone!
There was a young man named White
Who said, “the lights of Rome shone bright,
But they have passed away,
As will this day
And I am drunk tonight!
There once was a man most moral
Who married a young lady called Coral.
But on their honeymoon
He found real soon
That she was most immoral!
—
There once was a man most moral
Who married a young lady called Coral.
But on their honeymoon
She made him swoon
As she was most immoral!
—
With my friend, who’s name is Holly
I live in a quaint old folly.
Sometimes at morn
A girl named Dawn
Joins us in our folly …
There was a young man named Glover
Who had many a beautiful lover.
One day he answered his phone
And said, “hello Joan”,
But alas it was another lover!
—
A man of evil reputation named Glover
Had many a beautiful young lover.
One day he answered his phone
And said, “hello Joan”,
But alas it was that young lady’s brother”!
My friend, who is extremely brave
Spent the night on a murderer’s grave.
I am somewhat more circumspect
But have the greatest respect
For my friend who slept on that grave!
When an owl who’s name is Lou
Said, “TO-WIT, TO-WHOO”,
A vicar named Ted
Jumped out of bed
And made her a pot of stew!
—
When a lady by the name of Lou
Said, “TO-WIT, TO-WHOO”,
Her boyfriend John
Said, “you are so far gone.
I suggest you move to a zoo”!
There was a young lady called Natasha
Who purchased a potato masher.
But when the darned thing broke
She said, “what a joke,
I shall have to use my gnasher”!
K Morris - Poet 