A young lady whose name is Peeches
Likes to frequent crowded beaches.
As she sunbathes in the nude
The vicar, who is no prude,
To that young lady preaches!
—
A young lady whose name is Peeches
Likes to frequent crowded beaches
Where she sunbathes nude,
Which some find crude
As for me, I love those beaches!
I know a young man named Hogg
Who is an admirer of Jacob Rees-Mogg.
He recites all of his speeches
To an English bulldog called Peechs,
And she howls at the speeches of Mogg!
Waking up next to a girl, with perfect hair
And skin,
I know that I am
A lucky man
But I swear
That I know not where
We met, nor how she got in!
When a young lady named Honey
Dated me for my money
There grew a rumour
That she had a sense of humour
As I hadn’t any money!
There was a young man named Lee
Who said, “I want to speak about me”!
As he spoke at great length
I thought, Ggod give me strength”,
But God did not agree!
—
There was a young man named Lee
Who said, “I want to speak about me”!
As he spoke at great length
I gathered all my strength
And jumped into the raging sea!
—
When a young man by the name of Lee
Said, “I want to speak about me”!
I beat upon my chest
And said, “Sir, you jest”!
But he did not agree!
There was a young man of Turkey
Who’s finances where very murky!
He spent all his money
On a girl called Honey,
Who’s profession was extremely murky!
There was a young lady of Turkey
Who’s lifestyle was somewhat quirky.
She drank 10 pints of beer,
But felt not at all queer.
In fact she felt quite perky!
There was a young man named Glyn
Who, wishing to destroy the establishment from within,
Addressed the Carlton Club
From his bathtub,
But they still wouldn’t let him in!
—
There was a young man named Glyn
Who, wishing to destroy the establishment from within,
Addressed the Carlton Club
From his bathtub
Which delighted the ladies within!
I once knew a man named Oak
Who loved to laugh and joke.
But as he lay dieing
He took to crying,
So I told him a really good joke!
—
I once knew a man named Oak
Who loved to laugh and joke.
But as he lay on his deathbed
He softly said,
“This life ’tis a very poor joke”!
A young lady who’s name is Michelle
Is well known in a certain hotel.
When entering my room
In the depths of the gloom
I regret she tripped and fell.
K Morris - Poet 