There once was a poet named Kim
Who was both petite and slim.
Her verse it was mediocre
But a critic called Coker,
Loved that young lady Kim!
—
When a pretty young lady named Mable
Said, “I am both willing and able”.
I gave her a smile
And said, “wait a while,
First we must lay this table”.
—
There once was a horologist named Sue
Who said, “any clock will do”.
So she bought an ancient timepiece
From a disreputable old thief,
But that clock it just wouldn’t do!
There was a young lady of Stroud
Whose voice was so horribly loud,
That a librarian named Paul
Said, “you’re driving my readers up the wall,
As your voice its so horribly loud!”.
When my friend whose name is Matt
Asked me to look after his flat,
Young ladies from Ealing
Danced on the ceiling,
And his neighbours they all cursed Matt!
—
When my friend whose name is Matt
Asked me to look after his flat,
A young lady from Ealing
Said, “my senses are reeling,
And who owns that purple cat?”
When a young person named Dan
Threatened me with a frying Pan,
And said, “you will die!”,
I offered him some pie,
Which mollified that young man named Dan.
When a young man named More
Said, “my love she is pure.
We met last night
Under a winking red light,
I said, “my friend, are you sure?”
When a young lady named Dawn
Danced in a field of corn,
The farmer called Giles
Danced on the stiles
And thus their love was born.
When a young man named Mike
Sat on a rather sharp spike
I said, with a sigh,
“My friend you won’t die,
But Mike, You have broken that spike!”.
When my friend whose name is Ted
Turned to me and said,
“If I had the time I’d use internal rhyme”,
I said, “you just have Ted!”.
There once was a clever Ukrainian
Who grew a spectacular geranium.
It had many pink flowers
And she spent countless hours
Tending that geranium which grew in her cranium!
“Do nymphs still play
In woodland glades today
And the sunlight gleam
On pristine stream,
Where Flighty Aphrodite
Goes dancing and romancing?”
I asked Christine.
She made reply,
With a sultry look, in her one good eye,
“I aim to please
But the pollon makes me sneeze
So no rolling in the hay
For me today”.
Christine is such a tease …
K Morris - Poet 