Category Archives: uncategorised

Excuse me, Are you In The Queue?

I recently travelled with an acquaintance into London’s Victoria’s mainline station. On arrival I proceeded merrily and with some rapidity towards the ticket barriers.

“Trigger (my guide dog) is pushing in front of the queue” said my acquaintance. Oops!

Being a guide dog Trigger is taught to find a safe way through or around obstacles, including crowds. If my four-legged friend sees a gap, he goes for it with a will. I had no idea Trigger was skirting the queue and everyone queuing was too polite/embarrassed to say anything!

The above incident caused me to ponder on the advantages of being blind (other than the ability to jump queues without being lynched). After some consideration I came up with the below list:

 

  1. Having learned Braille from a young age I am able to read in the dark. This was particularly useful during my time at boarding school as I continued to read after the dormitory lights had been switched off and we children where supposed to be in the land of nod!
  2. Many tourist attractions and places of entertainment offer either a reduced fee or no payment to disabled people. This often extends to a person accompanying the disabled person. The result – I have lots of friends …!
  3. Any items designed for the blind (E.G. Braille books, magazines and talking books) are sent free of charge using articles for the blind labels meaning I save a fortune on postage!
  4. I get to take my wonderful guide dog, Trigger into places which do not permit other dogs to enter. So I can enjoy a nice hot curry while trigger snoozes at my feet or looks up at me appealingly hoping that a scrap of food will fall from my plate!
  5. The screen on my mobile phone recently developed a crack. As I rely on the phone’s talking software this does not bother me in the least although I am, as it happens probably in need of a new phone for reasons unrelated to the device’s broken screen.

I’m off now to queue jump, purely unintentionally you understand …

Some Thoughts On Clean Reader

(The below post contains, of necessity some profanity. If you are offended by such words you may wish to stop reading now).

Today’s Guardian has an article about Clean Reader, an application which allows the user to reduce or eliminate the amount of profanity in a book, (http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2015/mar/28/clean-reader-is-freaking-silly). The author’s contention is that Clean Reader is a silly idea but, in the final analysis readers have the right to put their own interpretation on the books they read. So, for example the owner of a print book is at liberty to cross out words they don’t like provided they don’t pass off the amended text as constituting the author’s original work.

My concern as an author is that Clean Reader alters the original meaning of my work. Take, for example my short story Samantha. In Samantha we meet a young woman who has been forced into prostitution by her brutal pimp, Barry. For reasons of authenticity Samantha contains scenes of violence and, yes the use of profanity. For instance Sam is told by Barry not to let a client “anywhere near your sweet little fuck hole” until he has paid. This is how a man of Barry’s stamp, a brutal pimp with no respect for women, would address those who he controlls. Yet Clean Reader would render “fuck” as “love” making Barry’s words risible as no pimp would refer to a vagina as “a love hole”.

To take another example, Nick, the client Sam is visiting, says that he wants to “fuck”. Nick’s desire for sexual gratification has nothing whatever to do with romance so to change “fuck” to “love” as Clean Reader would is to render the story risible and to change it’s meaning to boot.

I don’t want anyone to be offended by Samantha or any of my writing for that matter. However if someone downloads Samantha I fervently hope that they read it as written. If a tool such as Clean Reader is utilised the true horror of Sam’s situation is sanitised (I.E. forced prostitution is portrayed in a downright risible manner with clients making love, rather than “fucking” sex workers).

In conclusion, I have concerns regarding Clean Reader, specifically that it has the potential to alter the author’s original meaning and convey an inaccurate view of the work being read. I suspect though that most readers will avoid the app and, given time it will fade into obscurity or cease to exist completely.

Dormitory

Thud, the sound of a ball being kicked against the wall drifts up to me, as I lie in the dormitory.

Me sick but strangely content to lie abed while my fellow pupils play below. The room is peaceful save for the distant noise of the ball. A gentle breze stirs the curtains. I read, perhaps Palgrave’s Golden Treasury.

Oh the tranquillity, would that I could be ill more often.

My Author Interview On Kev’s Blog

The ever generous Kev Cooper has interviewed yours truly. Many thanks to Kev for his tireless work on behalf of fellow authors. You can find my interview here (http://kevs-domain.net/2015/03/27/kai-presents-kevin-morris/).

 

Kevin

I Am Now A Fashion Model

I am delighted to announce that I have branched out into pastures new. Not only do I write but, in addition I’ve taken a tentative step into the world of alternative fashion. Should anyone wish to consult me on the best alternative looks please do not hesitate to contact me. I can, I assure you be relied upon to furnish advice in respect of fashion which will have your family, friends and others agog with envy. Well they will be agog anyway!

This morning a colleague remarked that I had on one brown and one black shoe. I am registered blind with limited residual vision so haden’t picked up on this fact until my colleague enlightened me!

I own 2 pairs of work shoes, one black and the other brown. Both have precisely the same pattern on the upper part of the shoe while the soul is also identical which explains my own unique fashion statement! What a relief that I don’t currently have a female in my life or heaven knows what shoes I might (accidentally) have put on this morning …

For tips on fashion please email me at newauthoronline (at) gmail.com – or not as the case may be

 

Kevin

The Laws Of God By A E Housman

  1. Housman (1895-1936) was a homosexual at a time when to be so was punishable by imprisonment. Unlike Oscare Wilde, Housman avoided imprisonment, (Wilde was imprisoned in Reading Jail where he penned the powerful and moving “Balad of Reading Jail”). The below poem by Housman does, I think need to be read in the context of Housman’s homosexuality.

“The laws of God, the laws of man,

He may keep that will and can;

Not I: let God and man decree

Laws for themselves and not for me;

And if my ways are not as theirs

Let them mind their own affairs.

Their deeds I judge and much condemn,

Yet when did I make laws for them?

Please yourselves, say I, and they

Need only look the other way.

But no, they will not; they must still

Wrest their neighbor to their will,

And make me dance as they desire

With jail and gallows and hell-fire.

And how am I to face the odds

Of man’s bedevilment and God’s?

I, a stranger and afraid

In a world I never made.

They will be master, right or wrong;

Though both are foolish, both are strong.

And since, my soul, we cannot fly

To Saturn nor to Mercury,

Keep we must, if keep we can,

These foreign laws of God and man”.

Love In 10 Sentences

I have been challenged by Caitlin the Teen Day Dreamer to write a poem about love,consisting of 10 sentences, each containing 4 words. Each sentence must contain the word love. The challenge also asks that I include a favourite quote about love and nominate 15 bloggers to complete the challenge. I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to participate but, if you would like to do so please feel free to link back to this post once you have completed the challenge. For Caitlin’s post please see here (https://theteendaydreamer.wordpress.com/2015/03/23/challenge-love-in-10-sentences/).

Love is a kiss

Love is a hug

Love is true friendship

Sometimes love hurts terribly

Unrequited love hurts badly

Love turns to hate

Love is joy unbounded

Love is not lust

Love ends in dust

Love can’t be defined

 

Quote About Love

 

I have perhaps cheated here by including a poem by Shakespeare which, while mentioning love is not primarily about that emotion. I hope my readers will forgive this indulgence on my part.

 

“Fear no more the heat o’ the sun;

Nor the furious winter’s rages,

Thou thy worldly task hast done,

Home art gone, and ta’en thy wages;

Golden lads and girls all must,

As chimney sweepers come to dust.

 

Fear no more the frown of the great,

Thou art past the tyrant’s stroke:

Care no more to clothe and eat;

To thee the reed is as the oak:

The sceptre, learning, physic, must

All follow this, and come to dust.

 

Fear no more the lightning-flash,

Nor the all-dread thunder-stone;

Fear not slander, censure rash;

Thou hast finished joy and moan;

All lovers young, all lovers must

Consign to thee, and come to dust.

 

No exorciser harm thee!

Nor no witchcraft charm thee!

Ghost unlaid forbear thee!

Nothing ill come near thee!

Quiet consummation have;

And renowned be thy grave!”