I know a young lady named Spink
Who has a very unusual kink.
When we passed on the stair
I most solemly swear
That she gave me a significant wink!
—
There was a young man of Liverpool
Who, being a bit of a fool.
jumped into the Mersey river
And started to quiver
As he mistook it for a pool!
Use the “E”
Not the “P”
Word. For “E”
Is for company
And the passing smile
Of a girl with style.
While “P”
Does not go
On business trips
Although, you know
She also
Employs her hips.
Please tease
Forth the rain. Go softly though
For slow
will make it flow
In a strong deluge
And the joy
To the thirsting boy
Will be huge
When a young lady whose name is Ann
Married a rich old man,
He left all of his money
To his young mistress Honey,
Thus foiling Ann’s dastardly plan!
I know a young lady named White
Who only comes out late at night.
She dislikes garlic and steak
But loves to partake
Of necks as the clock strikes midnight!
Men fall for unsuitable
Girls who count,
And on Mount
Olympus, the Fates Inscrutable
Say, “love or lust?
You are bust
Either way”!
When a young man whose name is Gus
Stole a number 7 bus,
His cousin Rose
Composed a poem about Crows,
Which I’d like you all to discuss!
There was a young man named Neil
Who drank wine with every meal.
He soaked his breakfast in red
And on retiring to bed
Drank white with his friend’s wife Lucille!
When a dangerous young man of Bristol
Aimed at me his pistol,
My friend, General Napier
Drew forth his rapier
And ended that young man of Bristol!
Ivy on a tree
Reminded me
Of my grandfather’s home
And a bowl of green
on his gramophone.
The green
Is no longer seen.
K Morris - Poet 