There was a young lady named Nell
Who lived in a prison cell.
She crossed a line
While drunk on cheap wine
And was sentenced by a judge called Snell.
—
There was a young lady named Nell
Who lived in a prison cell.
She wrote many a rhyme
To pass the time
But her poems they didn’t sell.
—
There was a young lady named Nell
Who lived in a prison cell.
When I asked her “why?”
She winked her eye
And said “I like it very well!”.
There was a young lady named Hocking
Who lost a silk stocking.
She searched high and low
But I happen to know
That the vicar has her stocking …
There was a young man from Hull
Who owned a large prize bull.
They lived in a glass house
Along with a mouse named Clouse
And their lives where never dull!
There was a young lady named Charleen
Who I have never seen.
She had a boy who looks like me
Which is strange – you see
As I have never met Charleen …
There was a young man named Locke
Who found a mermaid under a rock.
When he asked her name
She hid in shame
As she wasn’t wearing a frock!
There was a young lady named Leigh
Who said, “is it really me?”.
But the glass it broke,
As the words she spoke,
So Leigh was unable to see!
—
There was a young man named Shane
Who caught the wrong train.
A guard named Pride
Said “enjoy the ride,
And my daughter’s name it is Jane!”
—
There was a young man named Shane
Who boarded the wrong train.
A guard called Pride
Said “enjoy the ride
As this is an express train!”
There was a young lady named Yvette
Who owned a very strange pet.
It was a cross between a dog
And Farmer Giles’s prize hog,
And it sang Rule Britannia to the vet!
There was a young man named Jones
Who’s habit it was to throw stones.
He lived in a glass house,
Along with his spouse.
That unfortunate young man named jones!
There was a young man named Nool
Who made friends with a ghastly ghoul.
The local vicar, named Fred,
Shook his grey head,
And called him a blithering fool!
There was a young lady named Lou
Who wrote a poem about you.
It was extremely salacious
And very vexacious,
But there was nothing I could do!
K Morris - Poet 