There was a young lady from Humber
Who had an accident with a cucumber.
While preparing a salad for two
She tripped over my shoe
And entered a very deep slumber.
—
There was a young lady from Humber
Who had an accident with a cucumber.
While preparing a salad for two
She tripped over my shoe
And impaled herself on that cucumber.
—
There was a young lady named Ria
Who went hunting for a deer.
A stag crept up behind
And said “you will find
My antlers are extremely sharp I fear!”
There was a young man named Nile
Who fell in love with a crocodile.
The creature said “come close my dear
And let me whisper in your ear”.
And she smiled a beautiful smile …
There was a young lady named Sally
Who said “I shall your sins tally”.
I made reply “and I yours,
But behind firmly closed doors
Who knows how we dilly and dally! …
There was a young Labrador named Muff
Who’s knowledge of grammar was extremely rough.
He thought correct spelling a pain
And said “I will always maintain
That all one needs is a woof!”.
There was a young man named Keith
Who met a witch on a blasted heath.
Her name it was Joan
And she lived all alone
Until she went and married Keith!
There was a young man named Hatcher
Who worked as a professional rat catcher.
He was helped by his cat,
(A feline called Matt)
And was employed by the late Lady Thatcher!
There was a young nun named Louise
Who’s habit it was to tease.
She donated all of the convent’s resources
To serving members of the armed forces
And she sailed the seven seas.
There was a young lady named Bell
Who lived in a deep old well.
When people asked “is it wet?”
She replied “you bet
But I like it very well!”.
—
There was a young man named Barry
Who did 2 ladies marry.
He wed them at the same time
But as their names failed to rhyme
He was jailed by a judge named Larry!
There was a young lady named Hocking
Who hung up her Christmas stocking.
I regret that Santa Claus forgot her
(He left not even a pear).
And someone stole her stocking!
—
There was a young lady named Hocking
Who hung up her Christmas stocking.
I regret that Santa Claus forgot her
(He left not even a pear).
Her language was truly shocking!
There was a young lady named Leigh
Who got stung by a rather large bee.
When they said “does it hurt bad?”
She turned quite mad
And climbed a fine old oak tree!
K Morris - Poet 