There was a young man named Paul
Who lived in a rather grand hall.
His sister named Linn
Sat on a pin.
You should have heard that young lady bawl!
—
There was a literary critic named Paul
Who wrote a review on a wall.
The book’s author, who was named Howl
Took a large damp towel
And scrubbed the review off that wall!
—
There was a young man named Mitch
Who was extremely rich.
He attended a grand ball
In a fine old hall
And duelled with a Count in a ditch.
There was a young man named Hogg
Who started a WordPress blog.
It was viewed by him
And a cat named Jim
And was moderated by his girlfriend’s dog!
There was a young firebrand called Paul
Who called for the establishment to fall.
On becoming a peer of the realm
He said “now I’m at the country’s helm
Things don’t look that bad at all …”.
There was a young lady named Bess
Who lost her party dress.
A general named Lowe
Said “I shall go
And check the Officer’s Mess!”.
There was a young lady named Bell
Who lived in a deep old well.
When people asked “is it wet?”
She replied “you bet
But I like it very well!”.
—
There was a young man named Barry
Who did 2 ladies marry.
He wed them at the same time
But as their names failed to rhyme
He was jailed by a judge named Larry!
There was a young man named Zeff
Who picked a quarrel with death.
He refused to die
(I can’t think why),
Which led to a row with death!
There was a young lady named Rose
Who went walking without any clothes.
A policeman named Michael
Said “it is vital
That you cover your fingers and toes!”.
There was a young lady named Spink
Who composed a letter using invisible ink.
Her correspondent (who was named Black)
Wrote “I regret that I lack
The means to know what you think!”.
There was a young man named Dave
Who lived in a draughty old cave.
When his girlfriend Kim
Moved in with him
Her mother did rant and rave!
—
There was a young man named Hyde
Who said “history is on Marx’s side”.
The wheel of history moved on
And Karl Marx is long gone.
As for Hyde, he long ago died.
There was a young lady named Liz
Who said “it certainly is
A most heinous crime
When poetry fails to rhyme.
It gets me in a tiz!”.
