There was a young lady called Louise
Who stole a set of keys.
On unlocking the bedroom door
Of a man named Moor
She found that he could tease …
—
An elderly poet called Jim
Married a young lady named Kim.
His verse was terse
And grew steadily worse
But the critics all loved Kim!
There once was a poet called Prout
Who wrote a poem about a sprout.
His verse was so bad
That it drove people mad
And his wife, she threw him out!
There was a young lady called Sky
Who’s heels where extremely high.
Her sister Louise
Being a terrible tease
Lent them to my good friend Guy.
There was a young lady called Moriah
Who married a country squire.
While her husband shot grouse
She would remain in the house
And stoke the parson’s fire
There was a young lady called Irene
Who I have never seen.
She has a tattoo in a hidden place
And a very pretty face,
But I’ve never seen Irene.
Today (May 12th) is National Limerick Day, which is celebrated in honour of the English writer of limericks and nonsense verse, Edward Lear. You can learn about National Limerick Day here https://nationaldaycalendar.com/days-2/national-limerick-day-may-12/. In honour of National Limerick Day I have composed 2 limericks in honour of Lear:
There was an elderly man called Lear
Who drank 10 pints of beer.
“To drink is such a bore”,
He said with a snore.
“And I’ve been dead for many a year!”.
There once was a poet called Lear
For whom I shed a tear.
‘Twas his curse
To write nonsense verse
But he made the world less drear!
There was a young lady called Rose
Who never wore any clothes.
A policeman called Jim
Went for a swim
But not with that young lady Rose
I know a young lady called Kipps.
Bad language never passes her lips.
But in a Soho club
Called the Rubber Dub Dub
She seductively wriggles her hips
I once knew a dog called Rover
Who ate my favourite pullover.
When I began to moan
He swallowed my phone
So I banished him to Dover!
There was a young man called Guy
Who worked in the field of AI.
He created a robot girl to love
But alas she gave him the shove
Which caused that young man to cry
K Morris - Poet 