When I found a young lady named Mabel
Dancing upon my fine old dining table,
And I said, “do you know that’s an antique!”,
She replied, “good sir, late next week
I shall meet you in your father’s old stable”
A young man named Snell
Owns an extremely dirty hotel.
When I said “you must clean!”,
He replied, “have you not seen,
The low prices in this hotel!”.
On looking in my bin
I found Mr Jeremy Corbyn,
Who said, “I am planning for power,
In this great ivory tower”.
I said, “you’re hiding in my bin!”.
Awaking as the clock struck midnight
I found to my great delight,
The late author, Mr Charles Dickens
With a large flock of toy chickens,
And my Mistress who calls herself White!
On opening my large old wardrobe
And seeing a young lady’s earlobe,
I said, “have you seen my shirt?”,
At which she called me a flirt,
And said, “please put on your robe!”.
When an extremely fat man named William Paul
Fell with great force against my garden wall,
And I heard the wall crack
As he fell on his back,
I said, “Paul, shall pay for my wall!”.
When a young lady named Bess
Went to visit Loch Ness,
She saw no monster great,
But met a girl called Kate,
Who said she knew Miss Ness!
When a young lady named Claire
Asked, “shall we have a sordid affair?”,
And I said, “just us 2?”,
She replied, “do you like Miss Lou?”,
And this poem, it stops right there …
When a young lady of Greece
Said, “when will your writing cease?”,
I replied, with a grin,
“Are you in to hot sin?”,
And then she called the police!
A young lady who calls herself intellectual
Swears that she’s not at all sexual.
I’ve never seen her flirt
In her very short skirt,
As she’s pure and a true intellectual!
K Morris - Poet 