When visiting my friend the squire
I met a young housemaid named Moriah.
Who was in a state of undress
Which, I must most earnestly stress,
Had nothing to do with the squire!
When Visiting My Friend The Squire
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Tag Archives: humour
When A Young Lady Named Jane
When a young lady named Jane
Said, “you ought to die of shame,
Inviting young women in at long gone midnight,
Then, seeing them off by late morning’s light!”,
I said, “but you rang my doorbell, Jane!”.
Elastic
When a young lady with morals most elastic
Said, “it would be absolutely fantastic
If you could pay my expenses.
Let us have no more pretences!”,
I said, “my finances are not that elastic!”.
The Whig Version of History
There once was a young lady named Mystery
Who believed in the Whig version of history.
She would constantly stress
The inevitability of progress.
But her reasoning, it remains shrouded in mystery!
There Once Was A Young Lady Named Melisa
There once was a young lady named Melisa
Who desired all the men to kiss her.
She was pretty but flighty,
And wore only her nightie.
She’s gone, and all the men miss her!
Whilst Walking Around the Great London Planetarium
Whilst walking around the great London Planetarium
I met a wild eyed Libertarian,
Who said, “sir, don’t you see
That we must have complete liberty!”.
Then he jumped into a passing aquarium!
There Once Was A Man Most Frisky
There once was a man most frisky
Who was fond of women and whisky.
When it came to the judgement day
The lord God did most solemnly say,
“You must, for your sinful ways pay.
But, first I’ll allow you a whisky!”.
Mendacious
A young lady said, “you are truly mendacious,
And your conduct is far from being gracious!
I’m not usually one for vice.
But your home is so nice.
And the master bedroom is so very spacious!”.
When A Young Man Searching for Gold
When a young man searching for gold
Went out in the bitterest of cold,
And dug in the iron hard ground
He discovered a chest shapely and round,
And a girl who said, “I’m cold!”.
My Local Park
When an elderly gentleman whose name is Mark
Said, “you should avoid the local park,
As a loose young lady named White
Tempts men into sin, both day and night”,
I said, “how do you know that Mark!”.
K Morris - Poet 