There was a young man named Paul
Who drove his mistress up the wall.
He talked about his dear wife Jane
(Which caused his lover to complain),
So soon he had no mistress at all!
There Was A Young Man Named Paul
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Tag Archives: humorous verse
There Was A Young Lady Named Holly
There was a young lady named Holly
Who was extremely plump and jolly.
We met at night
And to my delight
She led me into folly …
There Was A Young Man Named Nick
There was a young man named Nick
Who purchased a rain stick.
He danced about
And made great shout,
But it failed to rain on Nick!
—
There was a young man named Nick
Who purchased a rain stick.
He raised it high
Unto the sky
But it failed to rain on Nick!
—
There was a young man named Nick
Who purchased a rain stick.
When it failed to rain
He didn’t complain
But bought another stick!
Stream Of Consciousness Rambling
Shall I write
To delight
My reader’s a stream of consciousness piece?
Or should I cease
My screed?
For there is no need
To take up their valuable time
With my rhyme
Which goes,
As the river flows
Down to the sea.
I am lost in the ocean
My words a mere commotion
Which (as the bard now dead
So rightly said)
Is “a tale told by an idiot signifying nothing”.
“Macbeth”, or should I say
“The Scottish Play”
Is full of words cleverly stitched together,
With witches and stormy weather
Playing their part.
The dagger in Duncan’s heart
Brought Macbeth and his wife to perdition.
Ambition
Brought him low
As those who study Shakespeare know.
Should I go
On with this rhyme
Wasting time
Forever spinning
To keep my mind off sinning,
Which, of course I never do,
For you
Are aware
I dare
Say
That I am honest as the day
Is long. In fact a plaster saint am I
And when I die
I shall to heaven go,
Or perhaps somewhere below
Where all my desire
Shall end in fire …!
There Was A Young Lady Named Alice
There was a young lady named Alice
Who lived in Crystal Palace.
She broke the law
At halfpast four
And ran away to Dallas!
There Was A Young Man From Mauritius
There was a young man from Mauritius
Who thought all things delicious.
He ate some chalk
And a plastic fawk,
The effect was rather pernicious!
The Builder And The Poet
A builder and a poet sat drinking.
“I am thinking
That its getting black outside.
The moon does hide
Her face.
One can trace
In yonder darkening sky
The fall from grace
Of you and I”,
The poet said
With a shake of his greying head.
“Me missus will
Kill me.
I said I’d be back for 3.
That can’t be right,
The clock says its 10 at night!
Me tea
Will be in the dog, (or over me)!
Oh you poets have such charm.
Go on then, as you twist my arm
I’ll have another drink.
Now what did you think
Of the match earlier today?
And by the way
Did you ever play?”
There Was A Young Lady Named Crystal
There was a young lady named Crystal
Who owned an antique pistol.
The gun went bang
And up she sprang
And ran all the way to Bristol!
Witch
TonightI shall fly
Through the starless sky
On my broomstick.
And my banshee wail
Will make the righteous quail,
But oh how I wish
That flight did not make me sick …!
There Was A Young Lady Named Yvette
There was a young lady named Yvette
Who owned a very strange pet.
It was a cross between a dog
And Farmer Giles’s prize hog,
And it sang Rule Britannia to the vet!
K Morris - Poet 