There was a young lady from Humber
Who had an accident with a cucumber.
While preparing a salad for two
She tripped over my shoe
And entered a very deep slumber.
—
There was a young lady from Humber
Who had an accident with a cucumber.
While preparing a salad for two
She tripped over my shoe
And impaled herself on that cucumber.
—
There was a young lady named Ria
Who went hunting for a deer.
A stag crept up behind
And said “you will find
My antlers are extremely sharp I fear!”
There was a young man named Nile
Who fell in love with a crocodile.
The creature said “come close my dear
And let me whisper in your ear”.
And she smiled a beautiful smile …
There was a young lady named Sally
Who said “I shall your sins tally”.
I made reply “and I yours,
But behind firmly closed doors
Who knows how we dilly and dally! …
There was a young Labrador named Muff
Who’s knowledge of grammar was extremely rough.
He thought correct spelling a pain
And said “I will always maintain
That all one needs is a woof!”.
An annoying young man named Guy
Said “this music makes me want to die!”.
So they turned it up real loud
And someone brought him a shroud,
But Guy he refused to die!
The wind is blowing
And soon I will be going
Outside.
Or perhaps I should hide
In here
As the weather is drear
And the prospect of writing
Is somewhat inviting.
There was a young man named Keith
Who met a witch on a blasted heath.
Her name it was Joan
And she lived all alone
Until she went and married Keith!
There was a young man named Hatcher
Who worked as a professional rat catcher.
He was helped by his cat,
(A feline called Matt)
And was employed by the late Lady Thatcher!
Dare
I go
Bare?
No!
But on going to bed
There is in my head
The thought
That I could be caught
Out
And about
Sleepwalking.
‘Tis the nightmare stalking
My mind
That I may
One day
Find
Myself bare,
Heaven knows where!
There was a young nun named Louise
Who’s habit it was to tease.
She donated all of the convent’s resources
To serving members of the armed forces
And she sailed the seven seas.
K Morris - Poet 