I know a young lady named White
Who only comes out late at night.
She dislikes garlic and steak
But loves to partake
Of necks as the clock strikes midnight!
I Know A Young Lady Named White
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Category Archives: poetry
Monday Humour
When a man whose name is Ted
Found a young lady under his bed
He said, with a sigh
“I don’t know why
My wife, she sleeps under our bed”!
—
When a sailor whose name is Mark
Said, “this world is bleak and dark”,
His second cousin Jim
Jumped in to swim
And was eaten by a shark!
Men Fall for Unsuitable Girls Who Count
Men fall for unsuitable
Girls who count,
And on Mount
Olympus, the Fates Inscrutable
Say, “love or lust?
You are bust
Either way”!
When A Young Man Whose Name Is Gus
When a young man whose name is Gus
Stole a number 7 bus,
His cousin Rose
Composed a poem about Crows,
Which I’d like you all to discuss!
There Was A Young Man Called Neil
There was a young man named Neil
Who drank wine with every meal.
He soaked his breakfast in red
And on retiring to bed
Drank white with his friend’s wife Lucille!
When A Dangerous Young Man Of Bristol
When a dangerous young man of Bristol
Aimed at me his pistol,
My friend, General Napier
Drew forth his rapier
And ended that young man of Bristol!
Ivy On A Tree
Ivy on a tree
Reminded me
Of my grandfather’s home
And a bowl of green
on his gramophone.
The green
Is no longer seen.
When A Young Admirer of Titian
When a young admirer of Titian
Made a most shocking admission,
I shook my grey head
And with great sorrow said,
“You are on the road to perdition”!
The Bald Fact Of A Mechanical Act
The bald fact
Of a mechanical act.
Its impact
Will reverberate
Down the years
In tears
And hate.
And in contempt for herself
And his comparative wealth
That led to the bald fact
And its impact
On she who knew
What she was required to do
And went
Where she was sent
For a handful of dust
To satisfy his lust.
When A Man Whose Name Is Ted
When a man whose name is Ted
Found a young lady under his bed
He whispered, “upon my life,
You are not my wife.
Speak softly, as she’s sleeping in bed”!
—
When a man whose name is Ted
Found a young lady under his bed
He said, with a sigh,
“I am an open-minded guy,
But my wife she is sleeping in bed”!
—
When a man whose name is Ted
Found a young lady under his bed
He said, “is that you Nell?,
I can not tell
Whether you be living or dead”!
