Category Archives: poems

I Know A Young Dominatrix Named Maria

I know a young dominatrix named Maria
Who comes from a placed called Korea.
I don’t like the handcuff
Or other such stuff
But I’m very fond of Maria …

2 Poems About My Guide Dog Trigger

Dog And Ball:


My head full

Of dull
Thought.
Then the ball you caught
And waving your tail
Did derail
My introspection.
How can I suffer dejection
When I recollect your playful snort
And the ball you caught?

Early Morning Walk:


My dog snuffles

and scuffles
amongst the leaves.
He is just there
With no care
For what I think
As I drink
In the fresh morning air.

There Was A Young Lady Called Samantha

There was a young lady called Samantha
Who stole my favourite pet panther.
When the panther came back
He claimed to lack
Any knowledge of what happened to Samantha …

There was a young lady called Samantha
Who stole my favourite pet panther.
She rode away on his back
But alas, alack
Samantha now resides in my panther …

There was a young lady called Samantha
Who stole my favourite pet panther.
The creature gave a growl
Which caused her to scowl
And return my favourite pet panther …

There Was A Young Lady Called Caroline

There was a young lady called Caroline
Who men thought rather fine.
When out on a first date
She would always clear her plate
But she never crossed that line …

There was a young lady called Caroline
Who men thought rather fine.
She had a sister named Lou
(Who looks rather like you),
But Lou never crossed that line …

There Was A Young Lady Called Leigh

There was a young lady called Leigh
Who one day went to sea
In a fine old ship
With a dog named Chip
And a captain known as me!

There was a young lady called Leigh
Who one day went to sea
In a fine old ship
With a dog named Chip
And Chip’s friend Mr Flea

Just Who?

Just who
Should I return that high-heel
Shoe
To?

I feel
That it ought to be
Leigh
Or perhaps Sue.
Oh to
Who
Should I return that shoe?

Lou
Swears
That it isn’t her’s.
Then she swears some more!

Oh how I do a mystery adore!
Just who
Should I return that shoe
To?
Do tell me. Please do.

There Was A Young Lady Called Bland

There was a young lady called Bland
Who asked for a one-night stand.
I said “that is all right.
You can stand there all night,
But she didn’t understand …!

She Doesn’t Care For Her Hair To Be Touched

She doesn’t care
For her hair
To be touched.
Nor her face
As that would displace
The makeup she with such
Careful hands applies.

Man dies
As he enters in
To a perfection
Of skin
Sin
And rejection