There was a young lady named Lou
Who said, “I never will politics do.
My nextdoor neighbour
Always votes Labour.
But I’m a Conservative through and through!”.
Lou Who Was Not Political
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Monthly Archives: May 2020
The Pubs Are All Closed
Girls in short clothes
Still go by.
But, the pubs are all closed
And I
Feel the unreal, steal
Over England.
One should not
Shake a hand.
But the weather is hot
And girls in short clothes
Go by.
But the pubs are closed
And I
Voice the unspoken,
“How many little communities will reopen?
And how many die?”.
The pub is part
(And sometimes the heart)
Of local society.
How much variety
Will we lose?
Its not merely booze
But birds of diverse feather
Coming together,
Through diversity in unity.
I have the park.
But thoughts dark
Come to me.
Girls in short clothes
Still go by
But the pubs are closed
And variety
Can, so easily die.
There Was A Young Lady Named Maude
There was a young lady named Maude
Who, feeling extremely bored
Said, to miss Bess,
Let us both undress”.
And the general unsheathed his great sword.
My Art
When a young lady by the name of miss Heart
Said, “I really don’t like your poetry, which you call art!”.
It is so very old hat,
And young women don’t like that!”.
I said, “the world’s going to hell in a handcart!”.
There Was A Young Lady of Berlin
There was a young lady of Berlin
Who was extremely tall and thin.
Whilst running for a train
She fell down a drain,
And dropped her bottle of gin!
—
There was a young lady of Berlin
Who was extremely tall and thin.
Whilst running for an express train
She got stuck in a drain,
Which made a wicked man grin!
—
When a young boy from the Netherlands
Said, “why do young women in the windows stand?”.
And why does that winking red light
Never cease to shine, both day and night?”,
His father said, “this is Holland, young Bland”.
Thursday Humour
There was a young lady of Berlin
Who commited a most wicked sin.
It concerned a young man of Vienna
And the theft of a tenner.
And it caused the Devil to grin.
—
There was a young man called Mark
Who met a lady in the dark.
I could say she was pretty
And that her conversation was witty.
But I wasn’t there with Mark!
My Communist Friend
My friend whose name is Grist
Is a deep red Communist.
He made all of his money
Through trading in sweet honey,
And Honey is now suing Grist!
On the Internet
On the internet
You may find love.
Regret.
God above.
(Or nature
Or some other creator).
On the internet regret
Is sold
For gold.
At the click of a mouse
A foreign spouse
Will come to stay
(If you can pay!).
Or a lover for the night
Will bring you sweet delight
But you must have money
To pay for your honey.
The web may mangle
And the unwary entangle
In pleasure and pain.
But, much is mundane
For there is nothing shocking
About food shopping.
Social Darwinism
I once had a friend called Grist
Who was a most fervent Social Darwinist.
Whilst out on the stormy sea
It was either him or me.
Oh, how I miss that Social Darwinist!
Lou and Bess
When a young lady whose name is Lou
Said, “I’m feeling really quite blue”,
And her dearest friend miss Bess
Said, “lets take off our dress”.
I thought, what should a shy man do …
K Morris - Poet 