There was a young lady called Lin
Who liked to bang on a tin.
She banged it every Sunday morn,
Which caused the bishop to warn
That Lin was committing a sin …!
Tag Archives: poetry
Limericks
There was a young lady called Rose
Who had an accident while using a hose.
She got very wet
And said with regret,
“I can not master this hose!”
—
There was a young lady called Lin
Who owned a violin.
She played it at night,
Which was much to the delight
Of the fox who raided her bin!
—
There was a young lady called Hester
Who was a bit of a jester.
In the midst of telling a joke
The poor girl did choke,
And they buried her in Chester!
—
There was a young lady called Rose
Who lost all her clothes
While out for a walk.
When her friends did talk
She said,”that’s just the way it goes …!”
There Was A Young Lady Called Rose
There was a young lady called Rose
Who counted her fingers and toes.
To make quite sure,
She counted them once more,
Then for good measure, she added her nose.
Twenty-Seventeen
The weather is drear
And none save my dog is near.
The new year
Beccons
As seconds
Are here then gone.
The clock’s hands move on
Towards twenty-seventeen.
I have no magic screen
To gaze into the future, but stupidity
And that age-old vice cupidity
Will, I venture to maintain
Continue to reign.
The human race
Has a face
Half devil and part divine.
There is a fine
Line
Between the two.
Looking through
History one finds dreams of utopia turning to hell,
Yet one can not tell
The idealist that he is wrong,
For he will answer you with the same old song,
“If everyone did such and such then all would be well”!
But we are saints with feet of clay
And the utopian’s way
Leads many to stray
Down the path to the ever lasting bonfire
Where the desire
To do good ends in the Gulag and the stamp
Of the fanatic’s boot in the concentration camp.
Small acts of kindness matter
And oft times achieve more than the chatter
Of those
Who would dragoon
Humanity into neat little rows.
And believe there is a man in the moon.
There Was A Young Lady Called Gay
There was a young lady called Gay
Who composed limericks throughout the day.
She read them aloud at night,
Which was much to the delight
Of the owl who lived down her way.
There Was A Young Lady Called Louise
There was a young lady called Louise
Who sailed the high seas
In a fine old ship,
Where she brandished a whip
The sailors for to tease…!
There Was A Young Lady Called Emma
There was a young lady called Emma
Who took ill while visiting Vienna.
She did cough and sneeze,
Then remarked with a wheeze,
“Its freezing here in Vienna”!
Webcam
Being blind
I wry amusement find
When a webcam
(a wam, bam)
Girl follows me on Twitter.
She may dance in a costume of glitter
Bright
For other men at night,
Or, more probably perform in the nude
Acts most crude.
I am no prude
But as I can not see
Thee
Oh tempting nymph, I will not follow back
So you will another follower lack!
Dry your eyes my dear,
Though I fear
You may have nothing to wipe away your tears.
With. Perhaps your lipstick smears
At the thought of wasted years
As you bat your eyes
For lustful guys,
But not for me
Who strictly sticks to poetry …!
There Was A Young Lady Called Emma
There was a young lady called Emma
Who went to dance in Vienna.
When the people asked, “are you an erotic dancer?”
She replied, “I am no chancer,
But perhaps if you pay me a tenner …!”
There Was A Young Man Called Ed
There was a young man called Ed
Who decided his girlfriend to wed.
When he found she hadn’t any money,
He said, “ain’t it funny,
My love for her it is dead!”