There was an elderly gentleman called Farmer
Who was a real old charmer.
He proposed to a much younger girl,
Which put her head in a whirl.
They were married by a Tibetan Lama.
There was an elderly gentleman called Farmer
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Tag Archives: limericks
There was a young man named Zeff
There was a young man named Zeff
Who possessed no desire to meet Death.
Death visited one day,
But Zeff stole away,
Leaving Death seeking for Zeff …
There was a young lady named Leigh
There was a young lady named Leigh
Who invited me round for tea.
We ate lots of cake,
But when I tried to partake
She kicked me out at three!
There was a young man named Paul
There was a young man named Paul,
Who was a Socialist as I recall.
He quaffed expensive champagne
With his aristocratic wife Jane
And they lived in his ancestoral hall.
There was a young lady named Nell
There was a young lady named Nell,
(She was a girl who I knew well).
We went out on a date
With her best friend kate,
And a gentleman refuses to tell …
There was a young lady named Ocean
There was a young lady named Ocean
Who brewed a potent love potion.
It was taken by a hoary old sailor
(Who went by the name of Tailor),
I hear he got lost in the ocean.
—
There was a young lady named Ocean
Who brewed a potent love potion.
It was composed of sea salt
And no one could halt
The effects of that potent love potion!
There was a young writer named Coaker
There was a young writer named Coaker
Who’s work was considered mediocre.
When the critics criticised,
He rolled his eyes
And whacked them with a poker!
There was a young policeman named Glass
There was a young policeman named Glass
Who had a great fear of the mass.
When the mob engaged in riot
He would go very quiet.
His nerves where brittle as glass
There was a young lady from Bombay
There was a young lady from Bombay
Who used to live down my way.
She sang like a bird
But today I heard
That she flew back home to Bombay
There was a poet who lacked the art
There was a poet who lacked the art
To hide what lived in his heart.
He could not conceal.
His verse was gritty and real,
So they pilloried him for his art.
K Morris - Poet 