There was a young lady called Claire
Who’s feet where always bare.
She went for an interview
Without any shoe.
I know as I was there!
—
I knew a young lady called Claire
Who’s feet where invariably bare.
She walked on hot coals
While playing at bowls.
I know as I was there!
—
There was a young lady called Claire
Who’s feet where always bare.
She was a dancer by profession
And I must make a confession
For I am that young lady Claire!
A drunken young lady called Mable
Danced on a rickety old table.
We all gave a roar
And called out “en core”,
But that table was really unstable …
There was a young man named Nile
Who kept a crocodile.
Nile vanished last December
O how well I remember
The smile of that crocodile …
There was a young lady named Suzette
With whom I made a bet.
We went for a ramble
And I took a gamble.
Now I very much regret …”.
—
There was a young lady named Suzette
Who took her beast to the vet.
The vet (who was called Mole)
Said “upon my soul
That is a very strange pet!”.
There was a young lady from Calcutta
Who ate nothing but butter.
She married an Englishman named Hogg,
Who owned a large dog.
And the dog stole all the butter!
—
There was a young lady from Calcutta
Who ate nothing but butter.
She married an Englishman named Hogg
And they bought a large dog,
Who was extremely fond of the gutter …
There once was a philosopher named Voltaire
Who owned a large pet bear.
It’s name was Pangloss
And I am at a loss
As to why he owned that bear!
There was a young man named Connor
Who had a strong sense of honour.
He married a girl called Bess
But he refused to undress
So strong was his sense of honour!
There was a young author named White
Who stayed up late to write.
He went on Facebook
For a quick look
And remained there until the morning light!
There was a young lady named Ruth
Who invariably told the truth.
Her friends disappeared one by one
Until all of them where gone.
They found her most uncouth!
There was a young lady named Holly
Who stole my favourite brolly.
I met an au pair
Upon the stair.
Her name was Louise or Molly.
—
There was a young lady named Holly
Who stole my favourite brolly.
My wife found me with an au pair
Who’s name was Flair
And whacked me with a trolley!
K Morris - Poet 