There was a young vampire called Dracula
Who’s knowledge of languages was spectacular.
In general, vampires communicate very well,
Although I have heard tell
That they sometimes employ the vernacular!
There was a young lady called Mariah
Who had a burning desire
To visit the sun,
So there she did run
And was consumed by a raging fire!
There was a young lady called Pam
Who liked to generate lots of spam.
When the cyber cops came to take her away
She said, “I rue this day
And in future will stick to ham …!”
There was a young lady called pearl
Who’s heart was all in a whirl,
Over a man she met.
I do forget
Whether she did dance and twirl …!
There was a young man called Jack
Whose view of the world was black.
When they asked him “why?”
He said, with a sigh,
“because I always take the flak …!”
There was a young lady called Gale
Who wrote to her lover in braille.
He said with a look most perplexed,
“Really, I’m vext,
For my fingers,can not read braille …!”
There was a young lady called Gay
Who ate apple pie every single day.
She preferred it with mustard
And refused to eat custard.
As to why? She refused to say!
There was a young lady called Viv
Who lived in a very big sieve.
She said, “despite the rain,
I staunchly maintain
Its great to live in a sieve …”!
There was a young man called Baccus
Who caused a bit of a fraccus
By getting drunk one day
And leading his colleagues astray.
Our employer he threatened to sackus!
There was a young man called Marcello
Who loved to play on the cello.
He wasn’t very good
And his neighbours would
Bang on the walls and bellow!
—
There was a young man called Marcello
Who loved to play on the cello.
He played at night,
Giving his neighbours a fright.
They would bellow, “stop that racket Marcello”!
K Morris - Poet 