There was a young lady called Molly
Who had a sister by the name of Holly.
One bleak day
I regret to say
They stole my shopping trolley!
—
There was a young lady called Molly
Who had a sister by the name of Holly.
One fine day
(I blush to say)
I proposed to Molly and her sister, Holly!
There was a young man named Sun
Who carried a large shotgun.
He saw a bird
Which, without a word
Shot him, just for fun!
There was a young lady named Kaye
Who had absolutely nothing worthwhile to say.
But she said it with such style
And with a bewitching smile,
So she is on celebrity TV today!
(It goes without saying that the Kay in the above limerick is wholly ficticious and that any resemblance to a person now living is purely coincidental).
There was a young lady named Holly
Who lived in an ancient folly.
One day at dawn
She danced in the corn
As the farmer whacked her with his brolly!
There was a young lady named Jone
Who wrote a book on her phone.
Her boyfriend named Matt
Kept a black cat
Which wrote a book of it’s own
There was a young lady named Lucille
Who swallowed a very large live eel.
When she passed away
Her friends did say
“She was never the real deal”.
There was a young lady named Leigh
Who said “new year, new me”.
She went to the cash machine
Some money to glean
But her bank did not agree.
There was a young man named More
Who said “impure thoughts I do abhor!”.
He took numerous cold showers
Which lasted for hours.
These soon put an end to More!
There was a young lady named Bess
Who wore a very short dress.
The weather was extremely cold
And I am told
That she turned blue in her little short dress.
—
There was a young lady named Bess
Who wore a very short dress.
A young man walking by
Said with a sigh
“Impure thoughts I must go and confess!”.
There was a young man named Guy
Who lived on the Isle of Skye.
He married a girl most fair
(Her name was Clare)
And this limerick is truly a lie!
—
There was a young man named Guy
Who lived on the Isle of Skye.
He married a girl most fair
(Her name was Clare)
And their dog had only one eye!
—
There was a young man named Guy
Who lived on the Isle of Skye.
He married a girl named Clare,
But her sister called Flare
Ran away with that young reprobate Guy!
K Morris - Poet 