There was a young lady from Humber
Who had an accident with a cucumber.
While preparing a salad for two
She tripped over my shoe
And entered a very deep slumber.
—
There was a young lady from Humber
Who had an accident with a cucumber.
While preparing a salad for two
She tripped over my shoe
And impaled herself on that cucumber.
—
There was a young lady named Ria
Who went hunting for a deer.
A stag crept up behind
And said “you will find
My antlers are extremely sharp I fear!”
There was a young man named Nile
Who fell in love with a crocodile.
The creature said “come close my dear
And let me whisper in your ear”.
And she smiled a beautiful smile …
There was a young lady named Sally
Who said “I shall your sins tally”.
I made reply “and I yours,
But behind firmly closed doors
Who knows how we dilly and dally! …
There was a young Labrador named Muff
Who’s knowledge of grammar was extremely rough.
He thought correct spelling a pain
And said “I will always maintain
That all one needs is a woof!”.
An annoying young man named Guy
Said “this music makes me want to die!”.
So they turned it up real loud
And someone brought him a shroud,
But Guy he refused to die!
There was a young man named Keith
Who met a witch on a blasted heath.
Her name it was Joan
And she lived all alone
Until she went and married Keith!
There was a young man named Hatcher
Who worked as a professional rat catcher.
He was helped by his cat,
(A feline called Matt)
And was employed by the late Lady Thatcher!
There was a young nun named Louise
Who’s habit it was to tease.
She donated all of the convent’s resources
To serving members of the armed forces
And she sailed the seven seas.
There was a young minimalist named Paul
Who lived in a very bare hall.
When his friends came round
They sat on the ground
As he had no furniture at all!
There was a young man named Paul
Who lived in a rather grand hall.
His sister named Linn
Sat on a pin.
You should have heard that young lady bawl!
—
There was a literary critic named Paul
Who wrote a review on a wall.
The book’s author, who was named Howl
Took a large damp towel
And scrubbed the review off that wall!
—
There was a young man named Mitch
Who was extremely rich.
He attended a grand ball
In a fine old hall
And duelled with a Count in a ditch.
K Morris - Poet 