I shall be taking a break from blogging for a week or so while my mum and her partner visit my sprawling estate in the country. Err I mean my flat in Crystal Palace (the estate was wishful thinking)! I must go now due to the need to brief the servants on the preparations for tonight’s banquet. See you all in a week or so. Kevin
Yesterday I attended a course on CV writing. At one point the trainer refered to the problems one faces when composing or amending a CV. I was struck by the refreshing way in which she acknowledge that problems actually exist here in the real world. There is a deplorable tendency particularly among management types to come out with statements along the lines of
“There are no problems, only solutions” or
“There are no problems only challenges”.
On communicating my pleasure to the trainer regarding her acknowledgement that problems as opposed to challenges actualy exist she related the following humorous true story.
In marketing there are supposed to be no problems only situations. A group of salesmen where attending a training course when one of them refered to the problems he was experiencing in his work. His colleagues rebuked him saying that there are no problems only situations. He responded that
“Well I am facing so many situations it is turning into a problem”!
I would love to meet that man and shake him by the hand. With one brilliant stroke he cut through the Gordian knot of management speak and told, god help us the plain unvarnished truth. Would that there where many more men and women of his ilk. But then again the rubbish spouted by management types does provide endless hours of amusement to we mere mortals!
Every working day (in my case Monday-Friday) I take both the train and London underground to get into the office. During my travels I hear a number of anouncements advising travellers to mind the gap between the platform and other important matters. Having a quirky sense of humour I can not help but think up alternatives to these anouncements some of which I have given below. First is the correct announcement followed by my alternative rendering:
Original Anouncement – mind the gap.
My version – mind the gap for the gap can not mind you.
Original announcement – Smoking is prohibited Anywhere on this station
My version – smoking is positively encouraged anywhere on this station
Original announcement – Please do not leave unattended articles on this station. Unattended items will be removed and may be destroyed.
My version – Please leave unattended articles on this station. Unattended items may be removed and distributed to random strangers.
Three Men In A Boat is one of my all time favourite humorous books so I was delighted to come across the below clip on Youtube. The story recounts the humourous and, occasionally sad adventures of three men and their fox terrier as they traverse the Thames in a boat. The video is here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Asm7iXjLHCQ
I have blogged previously about my early new year’s resolution to start leaving reviews, on Amazon of the books which I purchase from the Kindle Store (please see https://newauthoronline.wordpress.com/2012/11/29/book-reviews/). I have got off to a flying start by leaving a review of a book which I recently purchased from Amazon. I was, therefore rraring to go, my fingers poised above keyboard, on receiving an e-mail from Amazon asking me to rate one of my recent purchases – that is until I read the title of the book which they wished me to review – “The Girl At The Bus Stop”, by K Morris. To explain, as the author of said book I don’t feel best placed to provide an unbiased rating/review of my writing (can’t think why)! It would have been fun to attempt to rate my own work just to see how robust Amazon’s systems are at weeding out author generated reviews/ratings, however I would have died of shame had my rating actually appeared on the site!
Why you may ask did I purchase a copy of my own book? Simple, I wished to check that “The Girl At The Bus Stop” could be read without difficulty using a Kindle.
Well the above certainly made me smile!
K Morris - Poet 