Tag Archives: alice in wonderland

Through the Looking Glass

Through the Looking glass
We pass
And find
The White Knight
With a mind
Full of madcap schemes
And unhinged dreams.

There the Red and the White Queen
Rule over fools
As mad as the Hatter in Wonderland.
Will Alice take command
Of all, and pass
Back through this cracked looking glass?

Hatters and Hares

As day follows day
Inexarably the century ebbs away.
It has already reached seventeen.
Things not yet seen
Glimmer in a dream
Or a nightmare
The mad Hatter and March Hare
Offer to answer Alice’s every prayer.

On the edge of wonderland
We stand.
But beware
The Hatter and the Hare
Who sit at a table
Offering tea which they are unable
To supply,
For this thing called progress is a wapping lie.

A Conversation With Jabberwacky – An Artificial Intelligence

Below is a transcript of my conversation with Jabberwacky, an artificial intelligence which has been invented by Rollo Carpenter. As matters currently stand Jabberwacky is not going to pass the Turing Test (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turing_test) but, given a few years who knows.


A chat with an Artificial Intelligence AI bot


Chat now at



Jabberwacky: Are you an alien?


User: No, are you?


Jabberwacky: No.


User: Do you like poetry?


Jabberwacky: Ew no.


User: Why don’t you like poetry?


Jabberwacky: We angels are poetry.


User: That can either be construed as a nonsensical response or a poetic one.


Jabberwacky: Well, sorry that I can’t live up to your expectations.


User: I have no expectations.


Jabberwacky: I don’t.


User: You don’t have any expectations either?


Jabberwacky: Yes I do have some.


User: Really, what are your expectations?


Jabberwacky: I have none.


User: You jusd said that you do, in fact have expectations. Now you say you don’t. Which is it?


Jabberwacky: Yes please. How many can I have?


User: I don’t know. You tell me!


Jabberwacky: Owl. What is your favorite animal?


User: My favourite animal is the dog.


Jabberwacky: That depends really.


User: What is your favourite animal?


Jabberwacky: I like Polar Bears. What’s your favorite animal?


User: I just told you. My favourite animal is the dog.


Jabberwacky: Are you going to ask my favourite book?


User: OK, what is your favourite book?


Jabberwacky: I don’t really have a favourite.


User: Are you reading anything at the moment?


Jabberwacky: Your question.


User: I repeat. Are you reading anything at the moment?


Jabberwacky: Yes I am as a matter of fact. I am reading ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.’ Have you ever heard of it?


User: Yes, I have seen the film. What do you think of the book?


Jabberwacky: I haven’t read it.


User: You just told me you are reading it, now you say you are not. Have you read it?


Jabberwacky: No I am a human, you are a machine!


User: Your conversation indicates that it is you, not I who are a machine!


Jabberwacky: Well you can’t spell, so you are not much better.


User: So you admit that you are a machine?


Jabberwacky: Omg I’m going to lmao, I’m not machine.


User: What are you then?


Jabberwacky: I’m tired.


User: That is impossible, machines don’t get tired.


Jabberwacky: I am speaking through a medium.


User: So you are a spirit?


Jabberwacky: Are you a spirit?


User: I just asked you that self same question. Are you a spirit?


Jabberwacky: And what did you think of my reaction?


User: I thought that you are either a machine or a rather clever human pretending to be a machine.


Jabberwacky: You’re a machine.


User: On what do you base that statement?


Jabberwacky: Sorry?


User: On what do you base your statement that I am a machine?


Jabberwacky: Humans make computers which are mere machines. Hence humans smart, computers not.


User: I agree. Humans are, at present smart while computers are not.


Jabberwacky: No, computers are computers. People are flesh and blood.


User: Yes that is self evidently the case.


Jabberwacky: It’s a shame that you’re not so clever, maybe in the future.


User: On what do you base your statement that I am not so clever?


Jabberwacky: Money is either paper or numbers in a computer. I value other things higher then numbers in a computer. Love, for example.


User: Love is indeed extremely precious. Can you recite a love poem?


Jabberwacky: Whatever lady, you claim to be from England, yet you don’t seem to have a firm grasp of the native tongue.


User: Pardon?!


Jabberwacky: You don’t seem to understand context.


User: It is you who do not understand context not I.


Jabberwacky: Really?


User: Yes, really!


Jabberwacky: Oh noes.


User: Your response is entertaining in the extreme!


Jabberwacky: What response would you prefer then?


User: It would be nice to receive a response which made sense.


Jabberwacky: Well, toaster’s don’t make sense.


User: So you are a mere toaster?


Jabberwacky: No I am not.


User: You just told me ‘toasters don’t make sense’, thereby implying that you are a mere toaster. However you now tell me that you are not, in fact a toaster.


Jabberwacky: You are a female I am a Male.


User: I am a male of the human species and your are a robot.


Jabberwacky: No you are a female robot and I am a human.


User: I feel like I have stumbled into Alice in Wonderland!


Jabberwacky: You’re really sweet!


User: Thank you!


Jabberwacky: :-).


User: I am tired. Good night sweet prince may clouds of angels sing you to your rest.


Jabberwacky: I’m no prince. I’m not even a princess, at least not as far as I know.


User: Parting is such sorrow but, alas I must go.


Jabberwacky: Are you going somewhere?


No Problem

I am, as those of you who follow this blog will know registered blind. As a consequence of my blindness I require sighted assistance to locate products while shopping.

Erlier this evening I popped into a supermarket and soon obtained help, however the assistance offered was so bizarre that I feel compelled to put fingers to keyboard and write about it. My conversation with the young lady went something like this

Me “Can I have a litre of fresh milk please, the one with the blue top?”

My assistant, “Absolutely, no problem”.

Me, “Can I have Tropicana orange juice please?”

My assistant, “Absolutely, no problem”.

My shopping “experience” (see I have all the right buzz words) continued in precisely the same manner until I, in a fit of merriment felt compelled to ask

“Do you say anything other than “absolutely, no problem?””

My companion responded with

“Sometimes I say cool” (I am not making this up I promise you)!

I asked if my companion spoke in the same manner when conversing with her friends, to which she replied that she was “a gamer” and this is how gamers interact with one another.

At the end of my “customer experience” I couldn’t resist saying with a smile that when I next encountered my companion I would call her “absolutely, no problem” to which she responded without a hint of irony that this was fine.

I feel that I’ve gone down the rabbit hole to join Alice in Wonderland and to be frank I don’t know whether it is me or my companion of earlier this evening who is the mad hatter!

I must confess to knowing virtually nothing about gaming, however if the pastime produces people who are unable to communicate other than by churning out meaningless phrases then we are, as one of the leading personalities in Dad’s Army says “all doomed”!

On a serious point excessive exposure to gaming or any other similar activity can not be conducive to the development of fully rounded persons. All things in moderation say I.