There was a young man named Neil
Who drank wine with every meal.
He soaked his breakfast in red
And on retiring to bed
Drank white with his friend’s wife Lucille!
There Was A Young Man Called Neil
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Category Archives: creative writing
When A Dangerous Young Man Of Bristol
When a dangerous young man of Bristol
Aimed at me his pistol,
My friend, General Napier
Drew forth his rapier
And ended that young man of Bristol!
Ivy On A Tree
Ivy on a tree
Reminded me
Of my grandfather’s home
And a bowl of green
on his gramophone.
The green
Is no longer seen.
When A Young Admirer of Titian
When a young admirer of Titian
Made a most shocking admission,
I shook my grey head
And with great sorrow said,
“You are on the road to perdition”!
The Bald Fact Of A Mechanical Act
The bald fact
Of a mechanical act.
Its impact
Will reverberate
Down the years
In tears
And hate.
And in contempt for herself
And his comparative wealth
That led to the bald fact
And its impact
On she who knew
What she was required to do
And went
Where she was sent
For a handful of dust
To satisfy his lust.
When A Man Whose Name Is Ted
When a man whose name is Ted
Found a young lady under his bed
He whispered, “upon my life,
You are not my wife.
Speak softly, as she’s sleeping in bed”!
—
When a man whose name is Ted
Found a young lady under his bed
He said, with a sigh,
“I am an open-minded guy,
But my wife she is sleeping in bed”!
—
When a man whose name is Ted
Found a young lady under his bed
He said, “is that you Nell?,
I can not tell
Whether you be living or dead”!
The Client
“Clean up the mess
And fill the bin
With sin.
Put on your dress
And move on
To the next one
Dear Bess
(Or whatever your name is).
‘Tis time for me to forget
Regret in doze
Though repose
Has long eluded me.
And you also
Maybe? But I know
Nought of thee”.
A Young Lady Whose Name Is Peeches
A young lady whose name is Peeches
Likes to frequent crowded beaches.
As she sunbathes in the nude
The vicar, who is no prude,
To that young lady preaches!
—
A young lady whose name is Peeches
Likes to frequent crowded beaches
Where she sunbathes nude,
Which some find crude
As for me, I love those beaches!
I Know A Young Man Named Hogg
I know a young man named Hogg
Who is an admirer of Jacob Rees-Mogg.
He recites all of his speeches
To an English bulldog called Peechs,
And she howls at the speeches of Mogg!
Waking Up Next To A Girl
Waking up next to a girl, with perfect hair
And skin,
I know that I am
A lucky man
But I swear
That I know not where
We met, nor how she got in!
K Morris - Poet 