There was a young lady called Yvette
Who said, “I have met
Many a man,
Who says “I can”
But afterwards does forget …!”
—
There was a young lady called Yvette
Who said, “my heart is set
On meeting a good man,
Although I think I can
More easily find a pet …!”
There was a young man called Strong
Who sang a comic song.
When the audience looked bored,
He thought “oh lord,
I have sung this song too long!”
There was a young lady called Yvette
Who while out one night met,
A charming man named Miles.
He was full of smiles.
But afterwards she did regret …
There was a young lady called Gale
Who stole from the Royal Mail.
The judge did frown
As he sent her down
And she quaked at the thought of jail.
There was a young man called Ray
Who could not his bills pay.
When the bailiffs came to his house
They found nought but a mouse
So in sorrow went away.
There was an elderly cricketer called Jay
Who having reached close of play,
Remarked “I am all bowled out.
There is no need to shout,
Indeed I have nothing left to say”.
There was a young lady called Lorraine
Who boarded a London bound train.
When informed “this is an Express”,
She said “I must confess
That I meant to board a plane …!”
There was a young man called Adolf
Who was very fond of his golf.
When it came to their wedding day
His girlfriend did say,
“He is with his golfing partner Rolfe!”
—
There was a young lady called Louise
Who kept a hive of bees.
When people asked, “Do they sting?”,
She said, “That’s the thing,
And they are very fond of cheese …!”
There was a young lady called Ruth
Who strove to discover the truth.
The Guardian and the Daily Telegraph she did take
And of their opinions did partake,
And thereby discovered something approaching the truth …!
(The Daily Telegraph is a Conservative/centre-right newspaper, while the Guardian is best characterised as liberal/left in it’s leanings).
There was a young lady called Jane
Who always did maintain
That she could eat a horse
But, of course
The saddle she would retain …!
K Morris - Poet 