There was a young lady called Gale
Who drank 10 pints of ale.
When the barman asked “are you okay?”
She replied “tomorrow I will pay,
Without fail, for all of this ale …”!
Tag Archives: humour
Whispering
The breeze
Whispering in the trees
Does please me so,
But when people whisper on the train,
I am driven half insane,
For I wish to know
What makes them whisper so …!
There Was A Young Man Named Daniel
There was a young man named Daniel
Who kept a springer spaniel.
When it grew dark
He would bark
In time with his springer spaniel
There Was A Young Lady Named Goose
There was a young lady named Goose
Who’s morals where rather loose.
It was her delight
Of a summer’s night
To tease the bishop, who was somewhat obtuse …
There Was A Young Man Called Mack
There was a young man called Mack
Who said “the best form of defence is attack”.
He hit a man
(His name was Dan),
Who promptly whacked Mack back!
There Was A Young Futurist Named Page
There was a young Futurist named Page
Who was in love with the industrial age.
When the music played loud
She would dance for the crowd,
On the cold and empty stage.
(The above limerick was prompted by this post by Paul Andrus, http://www.paul-andruss.com/futurist-manifesto/).
There was a young man named Hurd
There was a young man named Hurd
Who throughout life spoke only one word.
But as he expired
He became inspired
And said “death is quite absurd!”
If All Our Fantasies Where Laid Bare
If all our fantasies where laid bare
For the world to see,
What would happen to you and me?
The bishop would no longer care
To have us round for tea!
Or if he did so
He might whisper low
“I have the same desires
But Hell’s fires
Are hot.
Besides I have got
A dragon for a wife,
But oh how I dream
Of whipped cream …!”
There Was A Young Lady Called Leigh
There was a young lady called Leigh
Who wrote a book all about me.
When she asked “do you mind?”
I replied “you will find
A letter from my lawyer named Magee!”
There was a young lady called Glitter
There was a young lady called Glitter
Who spent all her time on Twitter.
Her boyfriend named Jack
Said “your love I lack.
I feel so incredibly bitter!”
—
There was a young lady called Glitter
Who spent all her time on Twitter.
Her boyfriend named Luke
Was obsessed with Facebook.
It made Glitter incredibly bitter!”