There was an elderly general named Lot
Who recovered from having been shot.
On returning to his plain, old wife
He remarked “upon my own dear life,
Would that he had been a better shot!”
I stand opposed to all privilege,
To the bitter end.
Yet, if it be mine own
I do, as a dog with a bone
My privilege defend,
Gainst foe and friend
There was an elderly general called Lot
Who remarked “queen and country, wot!”.
Why he did so,
I really don’t know.
I regret that Lot got shot!
There was a young lady called Glass
Who hailed from the working class.
She wed an aristocratic old farmer,
Who was far from a charmer,
But were there’s muck there’s brass.
(For the origin and meaning of the phrase “were there’s muck there’s brass”, please see http://www.phrases.org.uk/meanings/408900.html).
There was an elderly gentleman called Farmer
Who was a real old charmer.
He proposed to a much younger girl,
Which put her head in a whirl.
They were married by a Tibetan Lama.
There was a young lady named Leigh
Who invited me round for tea.
We ate lots of cake,
But when I tried to partake
She kicked me out at three!
There was a young man named Paul,
Who was a Socialist as I recall.
He quaffed expensive champagne
With his aristocratic wife Jane
And they lived in his ancestoral hall.
There was a young lady named Nell,
(She was a girl who I knew well).
We went out on a date
With her best friend kate,
And a gentleman refuses to tell …
There was a young lady named Ocean
Who brewed a potent love potion.
It was taken by a hoary old sailor
(Who went by the name of Tailor),
I hear he got lost in the ocean.
—
There was a young lady named Ocean
Who brewed a potent love potion.
It was composed of sea salt
And no one could halt
The effects of that potent love potion!
There was a young writer named Coaker
Who’s work was considered mediocre.
When the critics criticised,
He rolled his eyes
And whacked them with a poker!
