Tag Archives: humour

An Elderly Libertine Named Fred

An elderly libertine named Fred
Lay upon his deathbed.
His young mistress walked by
And said, with a tear in her eye
“Won’t you sin, one more time, ere your dead?”

An elderly libertine named Fred
Lay upon his deathbed.
When his young mistress walked in
He said, with a grin
“I shall sin,
One more time, ere I’m dead!

There Was A Young Lady Named Bess

There was a young lady named Bess
Who wore a very short dress.
The weather was extremely cold
And I am told
That she turned blue in her little short dress.

There was a young lady named Bess
Who wore a very short dress.
A young man walking by
Said with a sigh
“Impure thoughts I must go and confess!”.

There Was A Young Man Named Guy

There was a young man named Guy
Who lived on the Isle of Skye.
He married a girl most fair
(Her name was Clare)
And this limerick is truly a lie!

There was a young man named Guy
Who lived on the Isle of Skye.
He married a girl most fair
(Her name was Clare)
And their dog had only one eye!

There was a young man named Guy
Who lived on the Isle of Skye.
He married a girl named Clare,
But her sister called Flare
Ran away with that young reprobate Guy!

On The Death Of A Man

“Was he clubbable?” they said.
“Indeed, many wished to belabour him around the head”.

“Was he nice?”
“Every man has his vice
Be it big or small,
But let us not recall
Each slip and fall.
For ‘tis true
That he had virtues too.

“And what virtues had he?”
“Most agree
That he pursued his own ends
(Though it must be said that he was loyal to his friends).
He would stand his round
And could oft be found
Pint in hand
As he did stand
At many a bar,
His conversation ranging near and far”.

“Was he a bore?”
“It must be admitted that he made some men snore
But as to whether he was boring,
Those who slept, also had him snoring
With the words they spoke
In ernest or joke”.

“Was he one for the ladies fair?”
“Should I your blushes spare?
Although he (having passed away)
Can not be harmed by ought I say.
I have heard it said
That he was fond of wench and bed.
But the red
Blooded man
(Who is now but dust)
Is forever excused from wench and lust.

There Was A Young Lady Named Lia

There was a young lady named Lia
Who worked as a social engineer.
She designed a towerblock so high
That it almost touched the sky.
But she wouldn’t live in it, no fear!