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Oh for a Quiet Pint

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As a small child I was fascinated by the behaviour of others. This interest has remained with me and perhaps helps to explain at least partially why I write

Yesterday morning I popped into my local Wetherspoon pub for a healthy breakfast consisting of bacon (somewhat burned as it happens), sausages, hash browns, eggs, beans and toast (the diet which I began two weeks ago is going well I am pleased to report)! There I was wondering what I should order once I’d finished my starter when the comparative peace was disturbed by two gentlemen. They took a seat at a table behind me and proceeded to entertain the boring customers who had just popped in for a breakfast or a quiet pint.

The two men where obviously engaged in trying to crack a puzzle as one of them remarked to his companion that they had 15 minutes to find the solution. The same man then proceeded to extol the virtues of Paul Weller’s Peacock Soup. Well I thought he said Peacock Soup but as he began to tunefully regail (tunefully being a matter of opinion) us pub goers it became apparent that the song was in fact called Peacock Suit (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qOYrioF-hB8). The trio sang with such gusto that I felt the necessity of eating more quickly in order that I might escape into the open air and enjoy the singing of my feathered friends.

“Fuck”, “Fuck” the ring leader exclaimed on several occasions. The language was so far as I was able to ascertain a result of his inability to solve that troublesome puzzle while Weller’s song failed to provide the clue enabling him to crack the code. Would that I had known the answer, I would have happily confided it in the 2 gentlemen (anything for a bit of peace and quiet)!

What struck me about the whole episode was the complete lack of awareness of the presence and/or the wishes of the trio’s fellow pub goers. I don’t think that their behaviour was deliberately rude (they thanked the bar staff for bringing their food), however there was a complete mental blank so far as the needs of others where concerned.

Of course pubs can be (and frequently are) noisy places but I have rarely, if ever seen two men dominate a public house in that manner before. Had I been tempted to stay on after my breakfast and tea to indulge in something a little stronger the presence of those two songsters would have deterred me from doing so. Oh well perhaps I can incorporate the incident into a future story.

The First Time Book PromotionI am giving away free copies of my ebook, The First Time. The main story in my collection of short stories explores why Becky, a young graduate with a first class degree in English literature enters the world’s oldest profession as an escort and the effects of her decision on both Becky and her fellow escort and friend Julie. Other stories look at what happens when machines attain human level intelligence. If you would like a free copy of The First Time please send an e-mail to drewdog2060 at Tiscali dot co.uk (the address is rendered in this manner to try and defeat spammers)! For further information on The First Time and my other books please visit my Amazon author page at http://www.amazon.co.uk/K.-Morris/e/B00CEECWHY/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

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I am giving away free copies of my ebook, The First Time. The main story in my collection of short stories explores why Becky, a young graduate with a first class degree in English literature enters the world’s oldest profession as an escort and the effects of her decision on both Becky and her fellow escort and friend Julie. Other stories look at what happens when machines attain human level intelligence. If you would like a free copy of The First Time please send an e-mail to drewdog2060 at Tiscali dot co.uk (the address is rendered in this manner to try and defeat spammers)! For further information on The First Time and my other books please visit my Amazon author page at http://www.amazon.co.uk/K.-Morris/e/B00CEECWHY/ref=ntt_dp_epwbk_0

The Plot Thickens

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Several days ago I linked to an article in which the author of the detective novel, A Cookoos’s Calling was outed as none other than JK Rowling (the author of Harry Potter) rather than as stated by the publisher, one Robert Galbraith. At the time some commentators speculated that it was all a publicity stunt by Ms Rowling to boost the sales of A Cookoo’s Calling. I, personally kept an open mind on the matter and was inclined to accept the author’s version of events that the leaking of her real identity was none of her doing. However it has now been revealed that the entertainment firm of solicitors, Russels was responsible for the leak (it was none of the author’s doing)! I will refrain from commenting on what the unauthorised leak may do for the reputation of Russels but, be that as it may the story is an interesting one. For the article please visit http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2369111/JK-Rowling-Robert-Galbraith-leak-came-solicitor-OWN-law-firm.html

The Joys of Commuting

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Beware the dangers of complacency. I boarded the 17:22 from London Victoria to Gypsy Hill yesterday. It was boiling hot and the heat combined with the movement of the train made me sleepy. I dozed. At some point I became aware that the train had stopped. I and my fellow passengers where stuck in no man’s land between Battersea Park and Clapham Junction station. The windows where open but the lack of motion rendered this fact of little consequence. I along with my fellow commuters made the best of a sticky (in more than one sense of the word) situation. People read their papers. a man complained to someone or other rather loudly on his mobile that he was stuck on a train, he hated the idea of driving for 2 hours to get somewhere or other that evening but that he would, reluctantly make the effort, while a gentleman with what a former colleague of mine used to call “issues” wandered up and down the train talking to all and sundry.

The driver was brilliant keeping us informed of what was happening. Apparently someone had collapsed in Clapham station and paramedics where in attendance.

Oh the dangers of complacency. There I was expecting the journey to take 25 minutes maximum. I’d alight at Gypsy Hill, enjoy a cooling pint in my favourite pub on the way home and reach my flat at a relatively early hour. however we remained stuck in no man’s land for about half an hour. Originally the driver announced that the train when it got going once more would run as normal to Crystal Palace but would then be fast until London Bridge. I smiled smugly as Gypsy Hill is the station prior to Crystal Palace so I would, once the train got going have a relatively (although much lengthier than anticipated) journey. Alas it was not to be. After 20 minutes or so our friendly driver announced that when we got moving the train would return to Battersea Park and passengers would need to make their way from that station homewards.

When we finally got moving and pulled into Battersea that well known military strategist, General Chaos took charge of the situation. We where directed to platform 5 only to find that trains to Crystal Palace where not going from there. A man entertained us by attempting to use the help phone located on the platform. What fun he had standing there for several minutes listening to “please wait, please wait”! When he was finally connected the operator had no idea of what was happening but at least  it is good to know that someone or other is being kept in business to answer the helpline!

To cut a long story short I was helped by a fellow passenger to catch my train on platform 3 and I arrived at my destination around 2 hours later than I should have done.

My poor dog was panting like a steam train while stuck on the train (wearing a thick hairy coat which one can not take off is no fun in this weather)! Thankfully one of the station staff gave him a drink at Battersea and he was none the worse for his experience. Dare I take the train today I ask myself!

Meet Robert Galbraith err I mean JK Rowling!

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The Daily Mail reports that the crime novel, A Cuckoo’s Calling, by the first time author Robert Galbraith wasn’t selling well until it was discovered that it had, in fact been written by one JK Rowling of Harry Potter fame! The book is now selling like hot cakes. I must be one of the few people who has never read any of the Harry Potter novels, however being a lover of crime fiction I’m tempted to head over to Amazon and purchase Robert’s (sorry Rowling’s) latest offering! For the article please visit http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2362812/Harry-Potter-author-JK-Rowlings-crime-thriller-A-Cuckoos-Calling-rejected-publisher-sales-soared-revealed-writer.html

Communal Living Anyone?

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Can people live together in a state of equality by which I mean a society in which resources are shared equally and each individual contributes to the good of the whole community? The collapse of the former Soviet Union together with it’s former satelites in Eastern Europe has lead many to contend that such a state of afairs is pie in the sky. States which aim at equality inevitably degenerate into dictatorships which are neither equal or free the argument goes. But what about small communities or communes? Can groups of like minded individuals come together and live in a state of equality in which each person contributes to the common good? In any case how should we define the common good? Does it exist?

I have an idea for a story in which the above themes will be explored. I envisage a group of idealistic people joining together to farm the land in common and escape from what they perceive to be the materialism and corruption of capitalist society. Will their little community work or is it doomed to failure? Watch this space.

Ring Ring

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Mobile telephones are a mixed blessing. Being in my mid fourties I am old enough to remember the days prior to the invention of the mobile. I vividly recollect feeding ten pence coins into bulky metal phones in bright red telephone boxes and, as technology advanced inserting pre-paid phone cards. It is perhaps a human trait to look at the past through rose tinted spectacles, to become all dewy eyed about the red telephone boxes which for decades where a familiar sight on practically every street of significance in the UK. It is doubtless easy to forget entering a phone box only to find that the receiver had been wrenched off by vandals, the glass had been smashed or both events had coincided to make the phone box unusable.

All of the above is true. I’ve been in phone boxes in which the receiver had parted company with the wire securing it to the handset and I’ve shivered in those tiny cabins due to the glass having been smashed. Consequently I am well aware of the benefits of mobile telephones not least as a means of contacting family or friends when one is running unexpectedly late or in case of emergencies, however the mobile is surely one of the most overused inventions (do I mean abused)?

A couple of weeks ago the British media was full of how a check-out lady in Sainsburys (a leading UK supermarket) had refused to serve a customer due to the lady holding a conversation on her mobile while, at the same time interacting with the shop assistant. The customer subsequently complained to Sainsburys, received an apology and was compensated with Sainsbury’s shopping vouchers.

I don’t condone the actions of the check-out lady. I can however understand her intense annoyance at the rudeness (doubtless unintended) of the customer who instead of interacting with her chose instead to split her attention between the person on the other end of the line and the shop assistant.

When I’m out with friends I often turn my mobile off so I can concentrate on interacting with them which is after all the whole purpose of socialising with friends.

At home I’ll frequently allow the voicemail on my landline to take calls when I’m writing or sometimes simply relaxing. Occasionaly I’ll interrupt voicemail and speak with the caller but by no means always. Technology should be our servant but we are in danger of allowing it to become our master.

I’ll finish with an incident from my own life. Yesterday I was meeting a friend for a meal in a restaurant some 15 minutes walk from my home. My friend kept texting me to say that she had arrived, did I mind if we ate in another restaurant, actually the other place was closed so should we go to an Italian restaurant etc, etc! I suspect that had I not stopped to answer all of my friend’s texts I would have reached the restaurant at least 10 minutes earlier than I in fact did! In the days before mobiles we would likely as not have met without mishap and much quicker as we wouldn’t have been messing around texting one another.

For the article regarding the incident in the supermarket please see http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2353581/Sainsburys-customer-shocked-checkout-assistant-refuses-serve-mobile.html

Books to Prop Up the Wonky Leg on your Coffee Table

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Yesterday’s (12 July) Daily Mail contains an article regarding the books which people most frequently fail to finish. The survey was carried out by the Goodreads website and shows E L Jame’s Fifty Shades of Grey and J K Rowling’s The Casual Vacancy as being the books which readers most often fail to finish. I must confess to having read neither book so I am not in a position to impart words of wisdom on either work. I have, however read War and Peace in the original Russian and I must admit to having derived great pleasure from the experience. It was hard going in places but I felt a real sense of achievement once I read those final words, “the end”. OK I’d better come clean. I have indeed read War and Peace from cover to cover but it was in translation rather than the original Russian! I did, however plough through 20 odd braille volumes which took up some considerable space on my book shelves!

For the article please visit http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2361598/JK-Rowling-EL-James-bestsellers-list-books-readers-finish.html

Anyone Fancy An Apple?

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My three books (“The First Time”, “Samantha” and “Sting In The Tail”) have all been written on my Sony Vio Windows 7 Home Premium laptop. I purchased it in John Lewis approximately 3 years ago and it has on the whole served me extremely well. Being blind (I don’t possess sufficient vision to read the screen) I use screen reading software called Jaws which converts text into speech and braille enabling me to read the contents of the screen. I’m currently using Jaws version 11 which is several years out of date (the current version is Jaws 14) and given the march of technology I’m finding that an increasing number of websites do not work as they should or, more correctly Jaws can’t interact with them correctly. Jaws 11 cost over £800 and to upgrade from the current version to Jaws 14 would cost approximately the same amount. This seems crazy as the cost of my laptop was £529 so in effect I could buy another laptop and still have change for the money I’d spend purchasing the latest version of Jaws.

The alternative to the above is to buy an Apple Mac. The advantage to Apple products from the point of view of visually impaired people is that they come equipped with high quality built in speech known as voiceover unlike Microsoft PCS where the blind user has to purchase additional expensive software such as Jaws (I’m not counting Narrator which is next to useless).

I’m used to I pads so purchasing an Apple PC wouldn’t be a complete leap into the dark. However I am familiar with how Jaws interacts with Windows. I know the short cuts for interacting quickly with Windows and learning Voiceover on an Apple computer would be a bit of a challenge. However I need to bite the bullet sooner or later and decide whether to upgrade Jaws or buy an Apple Mac otherwise I’ll be left with an increasing number of websites and applications which either do not work with Jaws 11 or, at best work imperfectly.

I’m rather fond of my Sony Vio laptop. It has served me well in my writing and other tasks. There is nothing wrong with the machine and it could continue to be a good little work horse for years to come (famous last words)! Anyway this evening I’ll be borrowing a friend’s Apple Mac so I’ll have the opportunity to experiment with Voiceover and decide whether the fruit or Windows (with Jaws) is the way forward. What a shame that Microsoft don’t include a high quality text to speech facility with their computers then blind people wouldn’t be faced with these expensive choices.