I know a young lady named Spink
Who has a very unusual kink.
When we passed on the stair
I most solemly swear
That she gave me a significant wink!
—
There was a young man of Liverpool
Who, being a bit of a fool.
jumped into the Mersey river
And started to quiver
As he mistook it for a pool!
Use the “E”
Not the “P”
Word. For “E”
Is for company
And the passing smile
Of a girl with style.
While “P”
Does not go
On business trips
Although, you know
She also
Employs her hips.
My dog snuffles
and scuffles
amongst the leaves.
He is just there
With no care
For what I think
As I drink
In the fresh morning air.
“The Solitary Reaper” is my favourite Wordsworth poem.
‘The Solitary Reaper’ is one of Wordsworth’s best-known poems. Although it’s a ballad, it didn’t appear in Wordsworth’s most famous collection, Lyrical Ballads, because he wrote it after the publication of that volume (co-authored with Samuel Taylor Coleridge) in 1798. ‘The Solitary Reaper’ appeared in Wordsworth’s 1807 collection Poems in Two Volumes. The poem has received a fair bit of critical analysis; here, we offer some notes towards a commentary on it.
The Solitary Reaper
Behold her, single in the field,
Yon solitary Highland Lass!
Reaping and singing by herself;
Stop here, or gently pass!
Alone she cuts and binds the grain,
And sings a melancholy strain;
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Please tease
Forth the rain. Go softly though
For slow
will make it flow
In a strong deluge
And the joy
To the thirsting boy
Will be huge
When a young lady whose name is Ann
Married a rich old man,
He left all of his money
To his young mistress Honey,
Thus foiling Ann’s dastardly plan!
This post manages to be both amusing and informative at the same time.
Today I thought I’d examine a couple of hyperbolic metaphors on the basis of their being literally true and see where that got me, scientifically. I mean, what is a hyperbolic metaphor worth if science can’t say something about it, really? Check this out.
‘Enough food to sink a battleship’
How much food would sink a battleship? We have to suppose it
means enough food to overload the vessel until it sinks, but that doesn’t
define a figure because battleships have been built to all sorts of displacements, from
the 10,000-ton British jobs of the late nineteenth century through to the
70,000-ton Japanese monsters of the Second World War. Obviously the weight
needed to sink one will vary.
What’s less obvious is that even if we defined a
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I know a young lady named White
Who only comes out late at night.
She dislikes garlic and steak
But loves to partake
Of necks as the clock strikes midnight!
When a man whose name is Ted
Found a young lady under his bed
He said, with a sigh
“I don’t know why
My wife, she sleeps under our bed”!
—
When a sailor whose name is Mark
Said, “this world is bleak and dark”,
His second cousin Jim
Jumped in to swim
And was eaten by a shark!
Men fall for unsuitable
Girls who count,
And on Mount
Olympus, the Fates Inscrutable
Say, “love or lust?
You are bust
Either way”!
