There was a young man of Doncaster
Who decided his wall to plaster.
He drank lots of beer
Which made him feel queer
And led to a plaster disaster!

—

When a naughty young lady called Bess
Stole a little black dress
A store detective named Guy
Said, with a sigh
“You’ll look great in that little black dress …!”.

—

A pretty young lady called Nell
Rang upon my bell.
I was elsewhere at the time
Composing an intricate rhyme
As I did her large boyfriend tell …