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Anyone Fancy Writing this?

While browsing gumtree.co.uk I came across the below intriguing advertisement

“A smart and attractive girl is needed to help a private detective in his investigation, a good remuneration in return.”

What a great basis for a short story or a novel. Imagine the possibilities. A private detective wishes to investigate the affairs of a criminal who is known for his cunning and suspicion of anyone who is not part of his own tight knit fraternity. He does, however have one weakness, a liking for attractive intelligent women. The detective finds his girl who manages to seduce the criminal mastermind and communicate his secrets to her employer. Alternatively the young lady falls in love with the criminal and they disappear into the sunset together leaving the detective high and dry!

What wonderful material for a writer to get his or her teeth into!

Feeling Queasy

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The subject of paedophilia is a highly emotive one, “others rush in where angels fear to tread”. Over the weekend I wrote “An Act of Madness” in which we are introduced to Ian, a man with an unhealthy sexual interest in young teenage girls. Ian graduates from looking at images of child abuse online to raping a 13-year-old child who has been procured for him by an unsavoury pimp, Tom.

Although I wrote “An Act of Madness” in a period of only 2 days it is the most difficult story I have written. What Ian does is monstrous and I felt queasy throughout the composition of “An Act of Madness”. The best way to describe why I wrote this story is to say that I felt compelled to do so. One can not brush child abuse under the carpet and it is important to understand what causes men (and sometimes women) to sexually and physically abuse children. Of course to understand is not to condone, the monstrosity of child abuse can never be condoned, however by attempting to get into the mind of the paedophile we can, perhaps help to prevent him from offending or reoffending.

On the one level there is an inevitability in Ian’s offending. He has, for a considerable period and by his own admission maintained an unhealthy interest in very young teenage girls. This interest escalates from looking to physical and sexual abuse (the road from clicking on images of child abuse to the rape of 13-year-old girl is, for Ian all to easy). However Ian recognises that he has a problem, he has the opportunity to seek help, an opportunity which he fails to take. Had he listened to the wee small voice of conscience which cries out in the depths of the night he may, possibly have avoided the offending behaviour which leads to tragedy for both him and the children involved.

For “An Act of Madness” please visit http://newauthoronline.com/2013/06/01/an-act-of-madness-part-1/

Samantha by K Morris free from 7-11 June 2013

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My book, Samantha which tells the story of a young girl forced into prostitution in the city of Liverpool will be available, free in the Kindle Store from 7 June to 11 June. For further information on Samantha by K Morris together with a 4 star review, please visit http://www.amazon.co.uk/Samantha-ebook/dp/B00BL3CNHI.

An Act of Madness Part 5

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Below is the final part of my story, An Act of Madness. For Part 4 please visit http://newauthoronline.com/2013/06/02/an-act-of-madness-part-4/.

Ian woke to the sound of the dawn chorus. Even in the heart of Brixton the birds sing, Ian thought. For a few moments he was at peace listening to the sound of many birds singing fit to burst. All to soon the recollections of the previous evening’s debauchery came flooding back. He turned to see Lisa one arm around that beloved bear and the other draped over Angel. Despite being only 13 Lisa had attempted to protect Angel from Ian’s drug and alcohol fuelled lust. It had, of course been useless. Ian had struck Lisa a crushing blow across the face sending the girl flying across the room. As Lisa lay dazed on the floor Ian had raped Angel while she watched helplessly. Lisa’s face was deeply scarred where Ian’s ring had sliced into her cheek. Both girls face’s showed signs of dried tears mixed with the blood which Ian had drawn during his animal rage.

Ian turned away. He couldn’t look anymore. Getting out of bed he dressed quickly, opened the bedroom door and headed for the stairs. This time there was no Tom to detain him at the front door. Ian pulled back the heavy bolts and stepped out into the cool morning air. The birds still sang but Ian did not hear them. His thoughts where dark, no joy filled his soul.

“God, god what have I done? What have I done?”

Ian wandered aimlessly for over an hour. He wasn’t conscious of having been aiming for Brixton Tube, however, looking up he found himself outside. He entered, bought a ticket from the ticket machine and headed for the Victoria line.

The platform was relatively empty as at just after 6 am the morning rush hour had not yet begun in earnest.

Ian stood close to the yellow line, the point of safety which the public should not cross when trains are approaching. He felt nothing, absolutely empty. His life was meaningless. Looking into the future Ian saw more young lives blighted by him, scores of children stretching forward all brought to the depths of depravity due to his selfish desires.

A tube approached.

“Stand back, stand behind the yellow line” the underground official on the platform yelled at Ian.

“Sweet Jesus he’s jumped” could be heard over the radios carried by his colleagues.

It is often said that people who jump in front of trains frequently don’t die immediately. Rather they linger on in agony, sometimes for days before merciful death relieves them of their sufferings. Others do survive but with severe disabilities. In Ian’s case it was quick. The wheels of the train cut him in half. There was a moment of acute agony, a pearcing scream and then what had been the essence of Ian was snuffed out, forever.

An Act of Madness Part 4

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Below is Part 4 of my story, An Act of Madness. For Part 3 please visit http://newauthoronline.com/2013/06/02/an-act-of-madness-part-3/.

Ian felt that sense of forboding which often afflicts one before the breaking of a powerful thunder storm. He craved yet feared the coming of the thunder and lightening. His temples throbbed and he needed release but how and when that deliverance would come Ian did not know but the thought of it thrilled and scared him half to death in equal measure.

The pent up sexual frustration churned around inside Ian struggling to get out. He became careless. Ian had long regarded Anna, the teenage daughter of the Browns who ran his local news agents as material for his fantasising about teen girls. At 14 Anna was tall, slim and blonde. She stood not quite on the cusp of womanhood and this state of becoming drove Ian wild with desire.

One morning as Anna pushed The Guardian through his letter box Ian, to her great surprise opened the door.

“Morning Anna. It is a beautiful sunny day. You must be hot, would you like to come in for a drink?”

It was indeed a baking hot summer’s day and Anna hesitated before answering

“No thanks Mr Right. I have water with me but thanks for asking”, then with a smile and a waive Anna turned and headed for the next flat.

Once the door closed Ian stood shaking uncontrollably in the hallway. He knew that had Anna accepted his invitation to come in and have a drink that he would have offered her the £50 he had in his wallet for sex. Had he done that Ian knew that Anna’s reaction would, almost certainly have been to run straight home and report

“that filthy pervert from number 5) to her parents. The police and possible imprisonment would have been the almost inevitable result.

“Thank Christ that she didn’t come in” Ian muttered.

It would, he thought be far safer to call Tom who could provide a young girl to cater to his needs with minimum risk of discovery. If he didn’t call Tom then Ian knew that sooner or later he would do something which would lead to him getting caught.

Ian wondered whether the number he had for Tom would still work. He guessed that people like Tom changed their numbers and location frequently to keep one step ahead of the authorities. It had been almost six weeks since he had visited that hovel in Brixton so it was quite possible that Tom (or whatever his real name was) would have long since moved on. There was only one way to find out. With a trembling hand Ian picked up his mobile and located Tom in his contacts. His finger froze on the call buttond. It was so easy to make that call and so simple to delete the number. Yes he would delete the number and seek counselling for his addiction. Obviously he wouldn’t tell his counsellor that he had sexually abused a child (they would be obliged to inform the police). He would, however confess to a liking for young girls and do whatever was necessary to co-operate with the counsellor in tackling his perversion. But no, he was beyond redemption. Once a paedophile always a paedophile. Slowly, almost imperceptibly Ian’s finger pressed down on the call button.

“Yeah?”

“Is that Tom?”

“Yeah”

“Its Ian not sure if you remember?”

“I thought that you had forgotten old Tom! I’ve something very special for you. Two girls, one you saw before, Lisa and the other, Angel. Angel’s petite and black. Real cute. You’ll like her. I like you man. You can have both girls for £600”.

Ian’s hand was trembling so much that he almost dropped the mobile.

“Are you there man?”

“Yeah”

“Wanna come over?”

“OK, is it the same place?”

“Yeah, see you in half an hour?”

“No, say an hour”

“OK man, see you then. You will love Angel, Tom don’t provide no rubbish”.

—

Ian sat on the top deck of the bus as it wended it’s way towards Brixton. Looking out of the window he saw a park full of bright flowers. The reds, purples and whites combined to make a magnificent floral display. Someone rang the bell. Ian half rose from his seat,he was tempted to get off the bus, forget about Tom and spend the day walking in beautiful parkland. His groin twitched at the prospect of the two young girls Tom had waiting for him. With a wistful look back at the now receeding park Ian returned to his seat.

An Act of Madness Part 3

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Below is Part 3 of my story, An Act of Madness. For Part 2 please visit http://newauthoronline.com/2013/06/01/an-act-of-madness-part-2/.

For several weeks following his rape of the 13-year-old Ian dare not turn on his computer. He knew that, for him the internet signified searching for child pornography and, even worse young girls to abuse.

Ian wasn’t stupid. Some of the men on the paedophile forums which he had visited from time to time spun clever arguments that children enjoyed sex and that “caring” adults could introduce them to a world of sexual delight. Ian felt physically ill when he recalled how the teenager had begged him not to hurt her.

“I won’t hurt you” he said as he forced himself deep inside the child.

Yes he felt a deep sense of self loathing, this was, however mixed with sexual excitement. When he recalled his encounter with the girl a frisson of excitement drove him to masturbate.

“Masturbation is my safety valve. My fantasies are hurting no one” Ian told himself. However Ian knew in his heart of hearts that the pleasure he derived from masturbating stemmed from the recollection of his rape of a child, it wasn’t a harmless fantasy, rather it merely served as a means of further exciting his interest in young girls.

When at last Ian finally went back online he searched for 18-year-old escorts who catered to “the schoolgirl fetish”.

“I can have fun and not hurt a child” Ian said to Lucy a petite 18-year-old who arrived at his flat wearing the uniform of a sixth form schoolgirl under her long coat.

“That’s good mate. Fantasising never hurt anyone” Lucy replied as she slipped out of her uniform.

“If only you knew the truth” Ian said to himself.

The visits of Lucy and other girls helped to scratch Ian’s itch. However in the dark recesses of his brain he longed to indulge his lust for very young teens. At night Ian would lie awake often into the small hours fantasising about young girls. Masturbation and the attentions of escort girls in their late teens no longer served to satisfy what Ian knew to be his perverted desire for underage girls.

Ian grew pale through lack of sleep. His bosses raised concerns regarding the quality of his work. If he didn’t pull his socks up Ian would be “out on his ear” his employer said in no uncertain terms.

An Act of Madness Part 2

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Below is part 2 of my story, An Act of Madness. For part 1 please visit http://newauthoronline.com/2013/06/01/an-act-of-madness-part-1/.

Ian knew that he had a problem. For a long time he had convinced himself that he could control the fantasies. There was after all no harm in fantasising Ian told himself. Indeed if everyone was locked up due to what went on in the darkest recesses of their brain then half the population, perhaps three quarters would be behind bars.

Ian had for so long as he could recollect felt an attraction to young girls. This did not present a problem when, as a boy of 16 he fantasised about girls a year or so younger than him. However, as he grew older the fantasising intensified. As a man of 25 he found himself making excuses for taking public transport at times when he knew that the buses would be full of teenage girls on their way to or from school. He would sit on the bus pretending to read the paper while allowing his eyes to take in the school girls as they sat giggling with their friends. On reaching home he would dash into the toilet or his bedroom and masturbate while the images of the teenage girls remained fresh in his mind. After he had obtained his release the temporary feeling of elation would soon give way to one of utter self loathing.

“You fucking pervert, you should be locked up” he told himself.

For a while he managed to stop. At the times when he knew that the school buses would be full of young girls he stayed at home and attempted to read the paper or a book. It was no good, the words on the page made no sense, his mind was far away on the bus watching teen girls giggling with their friends or flirting with boys of their own age.

At first he saw the internet as a way of safely indulging his fantasies.

“I’m not harming anyone, they are only pictures. I’d never, ever, ever touch a child!” he reassured himself.

Initially he searched for “teen girls” and found mild stimulation in the pictures of nubile 18 and 19-year-olds in various states of undress or engaged in sexual activity. However bordom soon set in. “Teen girls” was soon replaced with “barely legal teens” and “underage sex”.

Every time he turned on the computer he felt his heart start to thump. The sense of breaking a taboo, of kicking against convention caused excitement to course through his body. Still, he reassured himself he was only looking. He would never harm a child. It was pure fantasy, where was the harm in that?

Then it happened. He was looking at a site displaying teens many of whom where clearly under 18-years-old when a pop-up advert directing him to a teen contact website appeared on screen. Ian’s heart began to thump so loudly that he fancied that the people in the neighbouring flat could hear it. With sweating palms he clicked on the pop-up and was directed to a poorly designed webpage with a line of text

“For teen fun call –“.

There where no pictures, just the single line of text. Ian could feel his manhood stir.

“No this is so, so wrong, close the site, forget you ever saw it” the voice of conscience and common sense whispered.

Another voice chipped in

“What harm is there in calling? It will be an advert for 18 or 19-year-old hookers. Maybe you can have some safe legal fun with a teen girl. You can indulge your fantasies and scratch that itch once and for all”.

Ian reached for his mobile. Several times he started to dial only to delete the number and replace the phone in his pocket. Eventually he dialled and pressed the call button. The phone rang. On the second ring a man answered

“Yeah man?”

“I saw the advert and …” Ian trailed off not sure how to continue.

“You want some fun with a young girl?”

“Yeah, so long as she is legal”.

The man at the other end of the line snorted with laughter

“Sure man you and me both no the score. I’ve got a real cutie, very young with blue eyes and blond hair. Slim”.

“What do I need to do? I’ve never done this before” Ian said through his constricted throat.

“Its £400 for the girl. Wana come over?”

“Yeah” Ian managed to whisper. His mouth felt like sandpaper.

“Is this your number?”

“Yes”

“OK, I’ll text you the address”, with that the line went dead.

An Act of Madness (part 1)

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He awoke to a thousand little imps banging their tiny hammers inside his skull. Tentatively he opened his eyes. The battered old chair on which he had flung his clothes the previous evening with such wild abandon swam into view. Cans of beer some still half full littered the threadbare carpet but it was the scent of sex, cheap perfume mixed with the sickly odour of rutting animals which made him lean over the side of the bed and vomit onto the filthy brown carpet.

The act of vomiting made him feel a little better. Slowly his mind cleared. He focused on the girl lying beside him. She lay her head resting on the filthy pillow, her right arm clutching a battered old teddy bear. The bear had been brown long ago but the years had turned it almost black. The sheet had fallen away leaving the girl’s body exposed. Her almost hairless vagina and barely formed breasts showed that she was in her early teens, 13 or 14 but no older.

“Christ what have I done?” the man said.

His words spoken out loud made the girl open her beautiful blue eyes.

“Please, please mister don’t hurt me again” she said clutching the bear protectively against her.

“I’m sorry” he mumbled attempting to put his arm around her in what was, he hoped a comforting manner.

“Please, no more” she pleaded her eyes swimming with tears.

Without another word the man got out of bed and flung on his clothes. As he reached the bedroom door he looked back one final time at the girl. She lay her head buried in that bear her shoulders shaking convulsively with deep sobs.

The man descended the rickety uncarpeted staircase, his feet seemed unnaturally loud to him in this silent place.

“God I need to get out” the man muttered as he descended the final stair.

“Enjoy yourself did you man?”

The man’s heart leapt into his mouth. He haden’t seen the Jamaican standing, in the shadows at the bottom of the stairwell.

“Little cutie isn’t she. Just turned 13. I told you that Jo could find you fresh young meat. I didn’t lie to you”.

“No she was lovely” the man said. He wished the Jamaican would step out of the way of the front door so that he could get the hell out of that stinking flea pit.

“OK man, remember Tom and the next time you want some fun give me a call”.

The man nodded and Tom stepped out of the way allowing him to open the front door and leave.

Sabrina Part 2

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Below is part 2 of my story Sabrina. For part 1 please visit http://newauthoronline.com/2013/03/31/sabrina-part-1/

Tony buried his nose in the bowl of fragrant purple hyacinths. Their exquisite scent filled his nostrils. He could almost imagine himself in a beautiful garden on a summer’s day with the birds singing and bees buzzing lazily as they flitted from flower to flower.

“Hyacinths are my favourite flowers. Roses are lovely but I’ve always had a thing about hyacinths ever since I was a little girl”

Tony turned to see Sabrina half concealed by lush foliage as she watered the plants which occupied a small section of the large supermarket. Her green eyes peered out from behind the throngs of a large potted fern. God she looked so beautiful, just like a woodland nymph Tony thought.

“I’d buy that one Sabrina said” pointing to a bowl who’s flowers had not yet opened. The hyacinths lay concealed within their green cases which would, in a day or so break open to reveal beautiful purple blooms.

“But these are already open. They will look and smell wonderful on the window sill in my kitchen” Tony said pointing to the hyacinths which he had now transferred into his shopping trolley.

Sabrina walked across to where Tony stood.

“Excuse me” Sabrina said leaning down to retrieve the plants from Tony’s trolley. As she bent down her foot slipped in a puddle of water which had dripped onto the floor from one of the hanging baskets. Sabrina would have fallen had it not been for Tony’s instinctive reaction in holding out his arms to catch her as she fell forward. Sabrina’s body was warm and soft against his chest, her scent composed from myriad wild flowers mingled with that of the hyacinths making him feel giddy with desire. Tony wanted to say so much, to pour out his feelings but instead he released Sabrina and said

“Are you OK?”

“Yeah, thanks to you I’m fine” Sabrina replied shakerly.

“You need to sit down” Tony said looking with concern at Sabrina’s pale face.

“No, honestly, I’m OK, just a bit shaken” Sabrina said smiling up into Tony’s eyes. She leant forward once more taking care not to step in the puddle which had nearly seen her fall unceremoniously flat on her face a few moments past. Sabrina retrieved the hyacinths from Tony’s trolley

“Look here” she said pointing to the purple flowers, “They are already turning brown at the edges. In a few days time you will have nothing except dead flowers and green leaves. If you buy the flowers which haven’t opened yet you will enjoy them for far longer”.

“Yeah you are right!” Tony replied taking the bowl from Sabrina’s hands, replacing it on the shelf and putting a pot of hyacinths which had not yet bloomed into his trolley.

“Thanks for the advice. You seem to know a lot about flowers” Tony said.

“No, very little. its just common sense really, if you buy flowers which haven’t opened then they will last longer than those which are already in full bloom” Sabrina said.

“Well you know more about plants than I do” Tony said laughing. “I was surprised to see you in the plant section, I thought that you always worked on the tills?”

“Usually I work on the checkout but today one of the girls who the supervisor had listed as being off came in to work which meant they had more checkout girls than they knew what to do with so I ended up in the gardening section. It makes a nice change from the checkouts. Don’t get me wrong I have a laugh and a chat with the other girls but it can get really boring just checking bar codes all day” Sabrina replied.

“Are you part time? I don’t see you here that often”.

“Yeah, I’m at uni studying sociology” Sabrina said.

“Really! I’m a social worker, what a coincidence!” Tony said.

“I’m considering going into social work” Sabrina said.

“Don’t, you are damned if you do and damned if you don’t. If you take a child away from it’s parents because of concerns that he is being abused and it is shown later that no abuse was taking place, the media will crucify you. But, if you don’t take a kid into care and the parents go on to harm them then you will be crucified! Whatever you do you will never be right” Tony said.

“But someone has to do it” Sabrina replied.

“Yes of course they do. I’ve had a horrible day in work so don’t take anything I say to literally. Anyway its nice to talk to you properly, I’ve been wanting to chat for ages but you can’t do that here because you are always on the checkouts” Tony said.

“I’m employed to work here not to chat to the customers” Sabrina said grinning mischievously. “I suppose that I had better get on with my work otherwise I will have the supervisor on my back”.

Tony hesitated. If he didn’t ask Sabrina out for a date now he might never get another opportunity to do so. Blushing like a school boy he said

“Sabrina I have two tickets to go and see Hamlet. It is only an amateur production but would you, err would you come with me?” Tony could feel his face burning like a furnace. He wished that the ground would open and swallow him up.

“When is it?” Sabrina asked.

“On Friday evening at 7 pm in Saint Hilda’s church hall. It is only a 20 minute drive from here. I could pick you up” Tony suggested tentatively.

Sabrina hesitated. This guy seemed nice but one never knew.

“I’d love to come but I’ll drive their. I don’t want to put you to any trouble. It starts at 7 so shall we meet at the church for 6.45? I finish here at 6 so I can easily be with you by then. Have you got the address?” Sabrina asked.

Tony scribbled the address on the back of an old receipt and handed it to Sabrina.

“I’ll look forward to seeing you on Friday then. I know that you have to get on now. See you later” Tony said as he headed for the checkouts.

“Thanks” Sabrina called after him.

With a start Sabrina realised that she didn’t even know the name of her date. She kicked herself. She couldn’t very well go rushing after the guy to ask his name. She glanced at the piece of paper in her hand. Underneath the address of Saint Hilda’s was written, Tony followed by a mobile number. Thank heavens the guy haden’t been as dippy as her Sabrina thought as she returned to her watering.

Take a Break

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On 16 March I published Sting In The Tail (http://newauthoronline.com/2013/03/16/sting-in-the-tail/). The story attracted positive feedback with 12 bloggers liking it. I was delighted with the likes (who wouldn’t be?!), however on re-reading Sting In The Tail I noticed the following errors all of which have now been corrected:

The main actor, Matthew (a fraudster) never reveals his real name to his potential victims. He tells Laura a blind lady he meets in a hotel bar that his name is James. Unfortunately on looking through the story as it appeared on my blog I found that Laura addresses Matthew by his real name rather than his fake name (James). Oops and double oops!
On looking through Sting In The Tail as published on my blog I discovered that Matthew and Laura drink whine. While a guide dog does make an appearance in the story it neither whines nor wines, hence I have corrected the published version to reflect the fact that Matthew and Laura drink wine rather than whine!

How did these ttypos find their way into the published version of Sting In The Tail? Writing Sting In The Tail took some 4 to 5 hours. Having finished I was extremely tired. Instead of making a cup of coffee or going for a walk and returning to re-read my manuscript at a later point I instead read through the story straight away. I corrected a few minor typographical errors and as everything else seemed fine went ahead and published it on my blog! My resolution so far as future writing is concerned is to not publish in haste and repent at leisure. Rather I will save my manuscript, go and do something wholly unrelated to writing and return bright eyed and bushy tailed, at a later time to re-read my stories prior to publishing them. One can never wholly avoid mistakes when writing as even proof readers may miss errors, however it is always best to come at one’s work with a clear mind rather than a brain befuddled by tiredness.