Below is part 2 of my story, An Act of Madness. For part 1 please visit http://newauthoronline.com/2013/06/01/an-act-of-madness-part-1/.
Ian knew that he had a problem. For a long time he had convinced himself that he could control the fantasies. There was after all no harm in fantasising Ian told himself. Indeed if everyone was locked up due to what went on in the darkest recesses of their brain then half the population, perhaps three quarters would be behind bars.
Ian had for so long as he could recollect felt an attraction to young girls. This did not present a problem when, as a boy of 16 he fantasised about girls a year or so younger than him. However, as he grew older the fantasising intensified. As a man of 25 he found himself making excuses for taking public transport at times when he knew that the buses would be full of teenage girls on their way to or from school. He would sit on the bus pretending to read the paper while allowing his eyes to take in the school girls as they sat giggling with their friends. On reaching home he would dash into the toilet or his bedroom and masturbate while the images of the teenage girls remained fresh in his mind. After he had obtained his release the temporary feeling of elation would soon give way to one of utter self loathing.
“You fucking pervert, you should be locked up” he told himself.
For a while he managed to stop. At the times when he knew that the school buses would be full of young girls he stayed at home and attempted to read the paper or a book. It was no good, the words on the page made no sense, his mind was far away on the bus watching teen girls giggling with their friends or flirting with boys of their own age.
At first he saw the internet as a way of safely indulging his fantasies.
“I’m not harming anyone, they are only pictures. I’d never, ever, ever touch a child!” he reassured himself.
Initially he searched for “teen girls” and found mild stimulation in the pictures of nubile 18 and 19-year-olds in various states of undress or engaged in sexual activity. However bordom soon set in. “Teen girls” was soon replaced with “barely legal teens” and “underage sex”.
Every time he turned on the computer he felt his heart start to thump. The sense of breaking a taboo, of kicking against convention caused excitement to course through his body. Still, he reassured himself he was only looking. He would never harm a child. It was pure fantasy, where was the harm in that?
Then it happened. He was looking at a site displaying teens many of whom where clearly under 18-years-old when a pop-up advert directing him to a teen contact website appeared on screen. Ian’s heart began to thump so loudly that he fancied that the people in the neighbouring flat could hear it. With sweating palms he clicked on the pop-up and was directed to a poorly designed webpage with a line of text
“For teen fun call –“.
There where no pictures, just the single line of text. Ian could feel his manhood stir.
“No this is so, so wrong, close the site, forget you ever saw it” the voice of conscience and common sense whispered.
Another voice chipped in
“What harm is there in calling? It will be an advert for 18 or 19-year-old hookers. Maybe you can have some safe legal fun with a teen girl. You can indulge your fantasies and scratch that itch once and for all”.
Ian reached for his mobile. Several times he started to dial only to delete the number and replace the phone in his pocket. Eventually he dialled and pressed the call button. The phone rang. On the second ring a man answered
“I saw the advert and …” Ian trailed off not sure how to continue.
“You want some fun with a young girl?”
“Yeah, so long as she is legal”.
The man at the other end of the line snorted with laughter
“Sure man you and me both no the score. I’ve got a real cutie, very young with blue eyes and blond hair. Slim”.
“What do I need to do? I’ve never done this before” Ian said through his constricted throat.
“Its £400 for the girl. Wana come over?”
“Yeah” Ian managed to whisper. His mouth felt like sandpaper.
“Is this your number?”
“OK, I’ll text you the address”, with that the line went dead.