Tag Archives: manners

You’re Barred!

On 27 June, I wrote a post entitled “Its My Blog and I’ll Swear If I Like”,

In that article I expressed my dislike of swearing on blogs and stated my disinclination to share content which contains expletives.

I did, however state that there exists a place for swearing in literature where this is intrinsic to the characters/plot being portrayed.

In addition my article states that some factual content (rightly) will use expletives (for example a report of a court case will, of necessity document any expletives used by the defendant).

Given my recent post I was interested to read that the owner of the Sameul Smiths Brewery, Humphrey Smith, has banned swearing in all his UK-based establishments.

According to The Guardian several pub managers have been sacked by Smith for allowing swearing in his pubs and customers have been barred for indulging in such behaviour.

The newspaper toured several Sam Smiths establishments and found no pub goers in favour of the prohibition. Typical of the views expressed was that of Craig

“Craig, 38, a cable jointer from Oldham, thought the ban was immature. “To be honest if you banned everyone who was swearing in a pub you wouldn’t have a business,” he said. “Are they going to send you outside to swear?””

Despite my dislike of swearing, I am inclined to agree with Craig that this ban is unworkable.

People in pubs should, of course be aware of their surroundings and should, for example never knowingly swear when children are present as it sets a bad example.

I also think it reasonable for bar staff to tell customers to “tone it down” when swearing is occurring at a high volume.

To my mind a muttered expletive overheard by a member of staff who is in close proximity to the swearer, is significantly different in nature from a man (or woman) swearing at the top of his (or her) voice.

One can not, in short, police swearing out of existence in pubs or other similar establishments.

As always I would welcome the views of my readers.

Kevin

Its my blog and I’ll swear if I like …

42 Replies

Licence to use obtained – Copyright nazlisart at 123RF

I recently read a post in which the author liberally employed the use of expletives/swear words. The article was on the subject of marketing and made a number of valid points. However the utilisation of foul language detracted from the points being made (to my mind at least) and had it not been for the employment of swear words I would have shared on Twitter.

I don’t consider myself to be a prude. There is a place in factual articles for the employment of expletives. For example a report of court proceedings will (quite properly) report that the defendant swore at a police officer and repeat the words used. I am frustrated when certain newspapers refuse to print expletives in full. Adult readers know what foul language is and are perfectly able to cope with reading it when it is necessary to their full understanding of a court case or other similar situation.

I also believe that the utilisation of swearing is justified in the context of literature. For instance a novel portraying the lives of gangsters would, in my opinion be wholly unrealistic where all the criminals in it to speak as though they where monks or nuns. In short what I am objecting to is the employment of 4 letter words for no good reason. To my mind the utilisation of such words merely to provoke a response conjures up an image of a person with a limited vocabulary (they use foul language due to their inability to find other words to express themselves). In many instances this may not be the case. None the less the liberal use of expletives gives that impression to me at least.

I am not in favour of banning things. Each blogger is entitled to write as he (or she) sees fit. It is, however a matter of regret to me that a minority of people seem to believe that it is somehow “cool” or “clever” to sprinkle their posts with bad language for the sake of doing so. I for one find it offensive. As always I would be interested in my readers views.

Kevin

Public Property

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Being blind and a guide dog owner, the following post struck a chord with me (http://viscourse.blogspot.co.uk/2016/09/public-property.html). In it, Deborah, a visually impaired guide dog owner, describes how a lady interrupted her conversation with a friend in order to ask whether she could pet Deborah’s guide dog. When Deborah said “no” the interrupter left in a huff, which to me is remarkable given that she had rudely interposed in a conversation in order to gratify her desire to pet Deborah’s (working) guide dog.
I, like Deborah find that unthinking people regard visually impaired individuals as public property. The worst instance I can recall of this occurred some time ago. I was crossing a busy road when a gentleman began stroking my guide dog, Trigger in the midst of stationary vehicles! On other occasions people have asked me deeply personal questions regarding my relationship status. Such enquiries would not have been addressed to a non-disabled person, yet those posing them think it is acceptable to ask whether I have dated disabled or non-disabled women.
I recognise the importance of educating people and am usually happy to answer questions provided they are sensitively phrased and put in a respectful manner. I am also delighted for people to say hello to Trigger but only when they ask politely and by so doing they don’t put my safety and that of Trigger in danger.
Noone, whether disabled or non-disabled should be considered as public property.

Kevin

When Guests Demand

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The below is not aimed at the overwhelming majority of those who request to guest post on Newauthoronline, The vast majority of whom I feel privileged to host. It is aimed at the minority who seek to abuse the opportunities offered by me and my fellow bloggers.

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I have always considered it an honour when blog owners agree to publish a guest post authored by me. I know from running my own blog that site owners are often extremely busy and it can be a time consuming business liaising with potential guest posters.

Most guests are politeness itself and I am privileged to have published a number of great articles by wonderful people. I have, however noticed a worrying trend with people contacting me saying words to the effect of

“I require one back link in return for my article and/or post”.

My Guest Post Submission guidelines (http://newauthoronline.com/guest-post-submissions/) already make it crystal clear that links to a poster’s website and other social media are welcome. Point 4 of the Guidelines reads

“Please do include links to your books, social media etc”.

Anyone taking the trouble to read the above will know that back links are positively encouraged. The fact a minority are not picking up on this indicates they are not taking the trouble to read my (and, I suspect) other site owner’s guest post guidelines. Furthermore it demonstrates a degree of rudeness. Such people are, in effect saying

“You are honoured that I am contacting you and it behoves you, as the blog owner to include whatever I ask you to”.

Sorry, but the person accepting the guest post is the host. One does not go into another’s home and demand such and such, nor should one do this when approaching bloggers.

Unfortunately I suspect I will receive further such rude requests and, from now on I will consign them to my deleted items folder.

Kevin

With Respect …

12 Replies

In my experience the 3 little words “I’m not being … ”, (insert the relevant missing word of your choice) are often the precursor for an insult or other offensive comment.

“I’m not being rude, but …”. Meaning – I am going to say something insulting. I am, however going to deny my intention to be rude.
“With respect…”. Meaning – I have no respect for you or the ideas you are expressing. I am, however going to use those words as a figleaf to hide the fact I’m insulting you.
“I’m not racist but …”. Meaning – I hold highly reprehensible views on race. I am, in fact a racist bigot.
“Some of my best friends are …”. Meaning – I don’t like this particular group of people, however I hope to disguise this fact by using the forgoing words.
“Its not you, its me …”. Meaning – It is (in my opinion) entirely down to you that this relationship (insert relevant example) isn’t working. I am, however going to let you down gently by pretending that it is all my fault.

Shakespeare’s words, “One may smile and be a villain” spring to mind.

Oh for a Quiet Pint

Ring Ring

1 Reply

Mobile telephones are a mixed blessing. Being in my mid fourties I am old enough to remember the days prior to the invention of the mobile. I vividly recollect feeding ten pence coins into bulky metal phones in bright red telephone boxes and, as technology advanced inserting pre-paid phone cards. It is perhaps a human trait to look at the past through rose tinted spectacles, to become all dewy eyed about the red telephone boxes which for decades where a familiar sight on practically every street of significance in the UK. It is doubtless easy to forget entering a phone box only to find that the receiver had been wrenched off by vandals, the glass had been smashed or both events had coincided to make the phone box unusable.

All of the above is true. I’ve been in phone boxes in which the receiver had parted company with the wire securing it to the handset and I’ve shivered in those tiny cabins due to the glass having been smashed. Consequently I am well aware of the benefits of mobile telephones not least as a means of contacting family or friends when one is running unexpectedly late or in case of emergencies, however the mobile is surely one of the most overused inventions (do I mean abused)?

A couple of weeks ago the British media was full of how a check-out lady in Sainsburys (a leading UK supermarket) had refused to serve a customer due to the lady holding a conversation on her mobile while, at the same time interacting with the shop assistant. The customer subsequently complained to Sainsburys, received an apology and was compensated with Sainsbury’s shopping vouchers.

I don’t condone the actions of the check-out lady. I can however understand her intense annoyance at the rudeness (doubtless unintended) of the customer who instead of interacting with her chose instead to split her attention between the person on the other end of the line and the shop assistant.

When I’m out with friends I often turn my mobile off so I can concentrate on interacting with them which is after all the whole purpose of socialising with friends.

At home I’ll frequently allow the voicemail on my landline to take calls when I’m writing or sometimes simply relaxing. Occasionaly I’ll interrupt voicemail and speak with the caller but by no means always. Technology should be our servant but we are in danger of allowing it to become our master.

I’ll finish with an incident from my own life. Yesterday I was meeting a friend for a meal in a restaurant some 15 minutes walk from my home. My friend kept texting me to say that she had arrived, did I mind if we ate in another restaurant, actually the other place was closed so should we go to an Italian restaurant etc, etc! I suspect that had I not stopped to answer all of my friend’s texts I would have reached the restaurant at least 10 minutes earlier than I in fact did! In the days before mobiles we would likely as not have met without mishap and much quicker as we wouldn’t have been messing around texting one another.

For the article regarding the incident in the supermarket please see http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2353581/Sainsburys-customer-shocked-checkout-assistant-refuses-serve-mobile.html