I must confess to nurturing a soft spot for the novelist and politician Benjamin Disraeli https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Benjamin_Disraeli.

The second of the 2 quotes is, I believe correctly attributed to Disraeli. There is, however some dispute regarding the first, with some attributing it to Disraeli, while others attribute this witticism to Moses Hadas. I, personally like to think that Disraeli was responsible for both witticisms, although the consensus of opinion is in favour of Hadas as regards the first one.

“Thank you for sending me a copy of your book – I shall waste no time in reading it”.

“A member of Parliament to Disraeli: ‘Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.’

That depends, Sir,’ said Disraeli, ‘whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.”