A friend, who works in the field of the biological sciences, informs me of a breakthrough in the sphere of human to animal communication. The development in question pertains to our canine friends and, as a dog lover of many years, I am delighted to be able to launch this exciting story upon the world.
My friend works in the little known field of Dogbotics. I must confess to not having heard of Dogbotics until I had the good fortune to become acquainted with my friend who, being of a shy and retiring disposition wishes to remain anonomous. Obviously being, as I am a man of the upmost integrity I will, of course respect the wishes of my dear friend and not reveal her identity.
Anyway, returning to the matter in hand, Dogbotics have developed a tiny chip which (when implanted into the neck of a canine) allows said animal to speak. I must confess to having been sceptical of this development until I heard it with my own ears. Imagine my surprise (I mean shock) when my own four-legged friend, Trigger (after having had the chip implanted) addressed me in the following manner:
“Hello, I’m Fido”.
Admittedly, his name is not Fido but (as mentioned above) Trigger. However his ability to voice in any manner (other than a growl, woof or whine) is truly staggering and will improve over time (or so my friend in Dogbotics informs me). In the meantime, I must remain content with such statements as that quoted above, together with such gems as
“Woof, I feel rough, that six day old pie I found in the street earlier is giving me a sore belly. Quick, I need to go outside!”.
I shall, of course keep you fully informed of the progresss of this exciting and innovative technology.
Kevin
K Morris - Poet 
NICE one, Kevin LOL
Thank you, Chris. It is, indeed an interesting development and I am seriously considering investing in this exciting and innovative field …
Gosh, I’m impressed!
Thank you, Mick. I shall email you the details of Dogbotics in the event that you have spare capital and are looking for a home in which to invest it …
Well, I think I must draw out all of my savings and invest them in this venture, Kevin. You’ve certainly convinced me!
Great, just make the cheque payable to K Morris and I shall ensure that it reaches Dogbotics. Trust me, I’m a poet! Its obviously a day for breaking news as I hear (on impeccable authority) that Jeremy Corbyn has consigned his copy of Das Kapital to the bonfire and joined the Conservative and Unionist Monday Club …
Yes, I know and also…ugh…it’s gone 12 o’clock…
Good point, Mick! However my defense (rather feeble I confess) is that it has gone 12 pm in the UK but, elsewhere in the world … Okay, its a weak defense!
erm…
I must confess, that when penning the above, I had at the back of my mind this amusing story by H. H Munro who is, surely one of the greatest British comic writers, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SyeOIplPdd8.
Ah, Saki. My Dad introduced me to him (not literally, you understand) at a young age. Great writer.